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A New Way Forward

Since 1997, I have been working in the customer service industry. Twenty years of working in banking, retail, tech support, middle management, and project management have taught me a few things about the dynamics of workers and leaders in the workplace. There have been a few bright spots in my career, but overall I have witnessed a great deal of difficulty when it comes to the daily relations of humans when they are stressed and stifled. Unfortunately, the norm in business still seems to be to let workers know that their worth for the company is merely contingent on their ability to perform. The performance workers are expected to give is rarely clear and often involves pretending to be happy. After all, work performance is just that, right? A performance – an act – a character that one puts on for 8-9 hours per day. Company leaders have a difficult time keeping expectations clear and developing workers in a manner that would help everyone be happier and more productive.

It is difficult to thrive when one is working for an organization led by people that do not value the day to day contributions of individual workers. Workers have many things to contribute to a companies policies, procedures, day to day focus, and bottom line. They are not robots that can only do one task over and over again. They are individuals with varied abilities and creativeness that is rarely, if ever, tapped into. They have intellectual lives that are never stimulated. They have many ideas to contribute to the greater good of the company, but their voices are muted.

The company leaders expect each of the workers to tow the line and never complain. To be happy even when the world might be crumbling around them. To continue to pretend that things are wonderful when they are actually rubbish. And all the while, the company leaders wonder why survey results are low and morale is even lower. They assume that morale is something that comes from within the individual workers and that grumpy people will always be grumpy. But the leaders are wrong. Boosting morale has to come from above.

A little bit of empathy toward the individual that is trying to make ends meet financially and still be happy on a day to day basis can go a long way. Validating the feelings of the workforce by noticing when things are not good and trying to make real, lasting change, if even in small increments, would also be a plus. These things do not cost money, but they certainly cost time. And time, unfortunately, is in short supply when leaders are too busy counting beans to care about the humans bringing the beans to the table on a daily basis.

But complaining is not enough. The only way to make change is to suggest, to those with the power, things that could be improved and how improvements can happen. So here are a few ideas that have been bouncing around in my brain for the past fifteen or so years. Ways that leaders of any organization could and should bear in mind when thinking about improving the day to day life of their employees. In honor of labour day, here are my suggestions to make the workplace a better place for everyone:

 

  1. Listen
    It seems like a pretty easy concept and yet it never seems to happen. When workers tell you, as a company leader, that they are ‘drowning’ or they are ‘stressed out’ or that they ‘need more help’, listen to them. This does not mean that you need to take action, immediately, on every complaint, but you should at least show the worker that you are listening to their concerns and that you are willing to do something about the issues that are causing this level of stress in the workplace.
  2. Do Something
    Take in the critical assessments that you receive from the people ‘on the ground’ in your organization and find solutions. Heck, ask the workers for solutions! Have a referendum and allow the workers to give you ideas of how to fix the most common issues that are popping up in the workplace. The workers know what they need to be happy on a daily basis and if you allow them to tell you what that might be and then take action to make changes, they will see that you are trying to make things better. A little bit of effort can go a long way. This does not mean that you should stop with just the effort, as I said above, do something. So what is the something that you could do today to improve the daily work lives of your workers tomorrow and for years to come?
  3. Value happiness
    Many times, company leaders make it clear to workers (even if they do not intend to) that the happiness of the workforce is not important. That happiness is not something workers should be concerned with. That when they come to work they should work and that it is not the company’s job to make the workers happy. This – my friendly neighbourhood CEO – is NOT THE CASE. Workers are giving you 45+ hours of their week, every week. This amounts to 2,340 hours per year. Over a lifetime of working for one organization, a worker could give anywhere from 70,200 to
    93,600 hours of their lives to the company. If the workers know that the company leaders value the happiness of the workforce, it makes the 45 hours per week investment of time a lot easier. Here are a few very simple things that you can do, that cost little to no money, to keep the workforce happy.

    • Improve the workflow process to lower stress on individual workers
    • Encourage workers when they do well
    • Develop workers so they can move up if they wish to do so
    • Set workers up for success
    • Institute workplace health initiatives that give workers a sense of well being
    • Say thank you to your workers
    • Show an interest in your workers lives outside of work
    • Make the workplace inviting by adding plants and sunlight wherever possible
    • Get people moving – allow workers time during the day to take breaks (other than the standard lunch hour) without guilt
  4. Make policies equal across divisions
    In the event your company has a policy that allows workers the freedom to do something such as work from a remote location or shift time to get out early or come in late, be sure that the policy is written in a manner that is fair for ALL workers in the organization. Do not single out one division within your organization to have the ability to partake in the policy while others are not able to do so. A policy that is instituted for only a portion of the worker population is bound to cause issues within the workplace. If there are reasons why some workers cannot partake in these policies, make changes so that all workers are eligible for the policy prior to releasing it to the general worker population. Releasing a policy before all workers are eligible is a sure way to create low morale in a portion of your worker population. It is better, for everyone concerned, to either have policies that every worker is eligible for or not have those policies at all. In this case, all or nothing is the best motto.
  5. Be sure that expectations are always clear
    There is nothing worse than working for a boss that cannot clearly set expectations for the staff. Workers should be given a certain amount of latitude within their day to day functions, as you would never hire someone that is completely green to do a highly technical task, but they should also be given clear guidelines for what the position entails. If priorities shift, throughout the course of a workers time, be clear about the shifts and why they are occurring. Keep the job description for each worker updated and go over these expectations as they change. Basically, keep your workers in the loop, not in the dark, about changes to the structure and overall direction of the company and their individual contribution expectations.
  6. Institute an employee recognition program
    There has been a lot of improvement, in the past few years, in employee recognition programs and one of the new ways to do this is peer2peer recognition. This article explains the benefits that these types of programs can and do have in the workplace. This is not your grandparents company recognition program!

There are many other ways that company leaders can improve the workplace, but I think this is a good starting point. Now, leaders, please go out and find creative ways to empower your workers and help them be the best versions of themselves. It will pay you back many times over and the humans that are toiling to put those beans on your table daily will thank you for it with even more beans. Seriously – happy workers = productive workers.

Peace,
Chantale (aka hippiegrrl)

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Call It Out (part two)

The events of the weekend have really shaken me. I realize that as a white person I can freely move through society without much effort or care. I have the privilege of not being pulled over in my car unless I am actually doing something wrong (and then not always). I have the privilege of walking down a street and not being looked at as someone to be feared. I have the privilege of gaining employment in almost any industry based on my merit and although I have less opportunity than my male counterparts, I am not immediately dismissed based on my skin color. I have the privilege of walking through life with very little struggle. Because of these privileges, I need to be better as a human. All white people do. We have been part of the oppressor group in this country for centuries simply due to the color of our skin. We might not agree with white supremacists ideals, but we certainly support them by not speaking out.

In my post yesterday, I stated what I will be doing going forward to combat the white supremacist roots of my culture as a white American. Today I offer a resource to make this happen on the internet: hatred be gone – “a place to unload and change the world”. This page is currently on tumblr, but it will be moved, eventually, to it’s own domain. The idea of this site is to submit instances of hate that people witness or are victims of. By calling out the specifics of these hateful acts, we hope to make change. By publicly shaming the people that inflict harm to others, mentally or physically, we hope that this can lead to action by the leaders of our country. We need to have real, lasting change in this country, not just rhetoric. We need to make good on all the bad that has been done by white people.

The hatred be gone site seeks to change the course of history through the telling of stories and the calling out of all forms of bigotry against any and all oppressed people. Hatred and violence have no place in our society and we need to squeeze it out before it does us in. The fact that our POTUS (that would be Donald Trump if you are living under a rock) cannot even denounce, fully, the white supremacist groups that wreaked havoc this past weekend in Virginia and have ALWAYS been a detriment to good people across this country speaks volumes about where we are and how far we still need to go for justice and peace in our time. We need to have leaders who care about ALL Americans and do not put hateful people front and center. We need leaders who are smart enough to assess a situation and understand the consequences of not only the current day actions, but the historical actions of our country. We need leaders who are able to tell the difference between hate groups and social justice warriors. And in case you don’t know – white supremacists are members of hate groups, Black Lives Matter people are members of a group for social justice. White supremacists are hateful bigots who wreak havoc in order to disrupt society. Black Lives Matter activists are peaceful people who seek social justice for underrepresented groups in our society, first and foremost black lives. The Black Lives Matter movement is necessary to right the wrongs of centuries of injustice.

Please join us on hatred be gone and share the names, faces, and stories of hatred and violence in our midst. Submit your posts here and be sure to check out hatred be gone for ongoing updates. Together we can make it right. Together we can change this country. Together we can make a difference. Together we can push out the hate and find a peace and justice for ALL.

Peace,

Chantale (aka hippiegrrl)

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Call It Out

When I was a child I let it go when I heard racist or sexist or homophobic slurs from friends and family. When I was a teenager I let it go when I heard racist or sexist or homophobic slurs from teachers and coworkers. When I was in my twenties I let it go when I heard racist or sexist or homophobic slurs from professors and bosses.

When I turned 40 I decided to stop letting it go. This may have caused some loss of friends on Facebook or some alienation in my own family, but it has been well worth it. When I hear something racist or sexist or homophobic now, I say something. And that something is: “THAT IS NOT COOL”. There are days when I am tired and I fall down on saying these 4 words, but I remember how much more tiring it is for people to have to deal with racism and sexism and homophobia in their own lives on a daily basis and it pushes me to be better.

Saying these 4 words might not change the hearts and minds of everyone you encounter, but if you DON’T say these words it makes you complicit. Saying these words might not be enough in the face of real, aggressive, bigotry, but NOT saying them makes you an accomplice. Saying these words can NEVER replace the stories of oppressed people, but standing by while someone spews hatred and staying silent is the very definition of cowardice.

My whole life, leading up to 40, I was afraid of rocking the boat or making other people dislike me in some way and that stopped me from being the ally that I needed to be. It stopped me from standing up for others and for myself. It stopped me from being the person that I am deep down inside. I gave my friends and family a pass when they would say something derogatory because I didn’t want people to be upset with me. But I can no longer stand by when people say horrible things and are not held accountable.

I realize that the deep-seated hatred that is nourished by the white supremecy movement in this country cannot be fixed with just 4 words, but it certainly won’t be solved by silence. So – when you are among your friends and family and you hear something bigoted (however subtle that bigotry might be and, mind you, it can be super subtle) you also need to say something. We need to let the bigots know that this is not okay. It is sad that we are seeing this in 2017 as we should have come much farther by now, but this hatred is not new.

We have had 250+ years to fix the atrocities of our country’s beginnings and instead we have chosen to ignore it. This shit isn’t new and ignoring it isn’t going to make it go away. We all need to stand up to those that are bigoted in this country and call out their shit. We need to stand beside our fellow people of color and shield them if necessary. We need to allow people of color to speak their stories and listen (really listen – actively listen – do not talk over or try to ‘explain’ away) to them when they tell us what is really going on. We need to be available to join in the fight, but allow people of color to lead. We need to be willing to get in the way of danger without standing in the way of progress.

We need to be allies by calling out the racism that festers in the spaces where people of color are not present. This is where we have a duty to be vocal and clear. In those places where racists and sexists and homophobes feel like they can ‘be themselves’ we need to speak up. It might be difficult, but it has to be done. Nothing will ever change if we sit back and just let things go. That is what we have been doing for the whole history of time. It is time to change. It is time to be better. It is time to speak up. It is time to call it out.

Peace,

Chantale (aka hippiegrrl)

PS – Calling it out is step one in the fight to end white surpremecy. White people need to be aware of additional things, beyond just talk, that can and should be done to end bigotry and violence against people of color. For more on that, I defer to this wonderful article by Brittany Packnett. Read up and march on!

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Snowflakes, Learning, and Laziness

When I went back to school in 2010 to pursue a second bachelors degree in Sociology I had no idea that the degree would change my perspectives so drastically. I have always considered myself to be open-minded and eager to learn new things. I have tried to think critically about everything that comes across my social media feed or email inbox. My thoughts on sex and gender were never fixed in the binary, but taking classes in the field gave me an even wider grasp of these concepts. It opened my mind to further variables of sex and gender. With this new information, I was able to define terminology that I had previously been oblivious to. This is what learning is about.

Unfortunately, there exists a contingent in our society that feels it not only unsavory to learn new things, but actively pushes away concepts that do not fit within their limited worldview. In discussing sex and gender, there are those online (and in real life, although not as vocal as the online voices) who make it their job to troll people who have opened their minds to these new concepts. In attempting to explain that there are variations in gender, these same trolls often refer to open minded people as snowflakes. They bemoan the new era of political correctness and long for a time when they could say anything they wanted without being called out for being insensitive, uninformed, or straight up bigots.

This last bit is interesting to me because political correctness is, in fact, not new. Courtesy and understanding are not concepts that have just popped up in the human vocabulary. They are actions that have been available to all humans for many millions of years. We have always had the capacity to understand each other and the differences that make us great. We have always had the brain power to learn new concepts and internalize new ways of seeing each other. We have the ability to move forward with compassion and not stay stuck in our old ways of seeing the world. It is possible to learn and grow into more whole human beings by seeing the differences in each other. And although the human brain does have the capacity for all this and more, the fallback position of laziness is also always available.

One thing you can be certain of is that trolls treasure laziness higher than civility. They yearn for a time when the world was less politically correct, but their definition of political correctness is skewed toward how they wish to behave. They want to be able to be sexist, racist, homophobic, classicist, etc. without push-back. They want to be able to walk the streets and look down on those they do not see as equal to them, without someone telling them they are wrong for doing so. They want to live in their privilege without being called out. They want to actively hate others for their lack of privilege and never suffer any societal consequences. They want life to be “their way or the highway” and anyone that disagrees with their assessment of life is a mere snowflake.

In the past, I would simply ignore these fuckers and move on, but since November 2016 ignoring them is no longer an option. People that abhor political correctness and intellectualism have taken control of our government. They have commandeered the highest office in the United States. They are dismantling all the policies that do good in our society and replacing them with policies rife with religious rhetoric and blatant bigotry. In order to make our union as perfect as it has the potential to be, we must continue to fight the anti-PC segment of our population. We must engage in discourse concerning EVERY human, not just those that the anti-PC group prefers. We must continue to teach and learn about our differences and hold these wonderful variations of the human condition up for those in power to focus on. We are one human race, but we are each different in our own unique ways. Difference does not disadvantage us.

So, the next time you are presented with a new concept, please keep your mind open to learning. And if you are referred to as a snowflake, wear that title with honour, for it means that you are fighting the good fight for ALL of us, not just those that are the same. No one human is any more or less important than any other human and knowing more about each other can only make us stronger as a people. Those of us that value education and openness must push down the anti-intellectualism of the ’45’ era. We must continue to rally, online and outside, for the good of all. And yes, that even includes those that refuse to learn and grow. For one day, they will be in need of an open-minded friend as well, and the social justice movement will be there for them. That’s what it is all about, after all.

 

Peace and disruption, always!

Chantale (aka hippiegrrl)

If you enjoy this post, please share with your friends and if you are so inclined – leave me a comment!

 

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March On

Yesterday we marched. In large numbers, we hit the streets of the States and across the globe. We marched to show our determination and our strength. We marched to show our displeasure with the forces that be. We marched to wake up the world to the fact that America is not okay with the latest situation we find ourselves in. That despite the ramblings of our current President, and the lies that his administration will propagate to make him look like a competent leader, we are not glad to have him as our representative in the world. His politics and his hatred of all those different from him will not be tolerated by the majority of the citizens of this nation.

 

Yesterday I marched with the writer, my mother, my father, work friends, school friends, and 2500+ WNY residents committed to peace and justice in our time. I marched with the names of those that could not be there (but would have been had they lived to see this day) resting on my heart. I marched with thoughts of those that are still with us, but currently living under the haze of conservative values that blur their own best interests. I marched for my niece and nephew who, I hope, someday will grow up to be empathetic to all humans, not just the humans that look like them and believe in the same things they do.

 

Yesterday I marched, today I write, and tomorrow I get back to work. The march is not the end point, but merely the beginning. The next 100 days will be a time that tests us all, including our new President. We must hold him to the highest standards we can and keep those that seek to change the strides we have made, over the past 8 (plus 144) years, in check. We must hold their feet to the fire and insist that they keep ALL the citizens of our country and the world in mind when crafting policies. We must continue to push for inclusiveness and diversity in our institutions and work for the equality that we all deserve. We must continue to hold our own progressive organizations to an intersectional standard and consider all points of view when moving forward with our own policies. We must be better people than those that we are fighting. We must consider to march and plan and move and make change. If we fall back to sleep we could lose so much more than just an election. We could lose our ability to function in the world. We need to be vigilant and work hard. Social justice is not easy work, but it is ever necessary.

 

Peace and happy organizing!

Chantale (aka hippiegrrl)

 

Get involved!

League of Women Voters of Buffalo Niagara
WNY Women’s Foundation
American Association of University Women – Buffalo Branch
Coalition for Economic Justice
People United for Sustainable Housing
Pride Center of WNY
Spectrum Transgender Group of WNY
Citizen Action NY
WNY Peace Center
Occupy Buffalo
New York Civil Liberties Union
hippiegrrl activism page – Soon to be updated!

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Seriously

So, I was thinking that I would go in a different direction with this blog. Something outside of the realm of citizen action. At the time I made this decision, I believed that we were going to elect our first female POTUS and continue with another 8 years of change for the better. At that time, I did not realize that we would be left with the most horrible man in that position. A man that is the antithesis of positive change. A man that would rather build a wall than build bridges.

With that – I feel that the original focus of rise up buffalo needs to remain. This space needs to be a place that residents can come to see what is happening in the city of Buffalo and the surrounding area. A listing of current and future events. Posts that discuss topics of interest to the activist community. Moving forward I will try to be more prolific in keeping rise up buffalo updated. I will also be looking for assistance in this effort.

Rise up buffalo has been around for quite a while (10 years as of 18 May 2016!), but has not been active for a while now. This is mainly due to my inability to keep things moving on my own. I have been busy with other things, but there are really no excuses. Going forward I promise to be more on top of the goings on in Western New York activism. As I said above, I could really use some help with this. I am always looking for guest posters, so please let me know if you would like to volunteer some of your words to the cause.

We must stay vigilant and continue to be allies to one another. Now, more than ever, it is important to keep our marginalized friends and family members safe. Continuing to be up to date with the activist community is a good step in that direction. Thank you for joining me on this renewed journey. Our new POTUS may end up being a devastating force, but together we can keep ALL of our leaders in check. We can write letters and make phone calls and assemble in the streets to peacefully resist the future direction of the this most wonderful country. At the root of it all, we are a great country, we just need to be sure that every single citizen has an equal voice and equal rights as we move into the future and away from our disgusting past.

Peace and happy organizing!

Chantale (aka hippiegrrl)

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Hey, ladies!

To the women that voted for Trump, and specifically the 53% (wtf? source: popsugar.com) of white women that voted for him:
I want to say how deeply sorry we are. We, the assembled masses of feminist women. The women who you have been fed preconceived notions about. The women who have been fighting for the rights of ALL women, not just the liberal elites that you believe we are. The women who are scared shitless over the possibility that all women will now have to live in fear because a man (child) was elected who would rather dismantle the society that we have collectively built up together than ever admit ignorance or defeat.
We, feminist women, are deeply sorry that you felt you had to vote for this man. That for reasons related to your own misconceptions of our movement or the males in your life holding court over your minds, you decided to vote against every single one of your individual interests to put him in power. We are sorry that we haven’t been able to reach you. That you are somehow still living in a bubble that we haven’t been able to help you burst.
I would like to say that I know where you are coming from, but I do not believe that I truly do. I wanted to say that I see your issues. That I understand you on a personal level. I mean, obviously, we have the same parts, as it were, but that is where the similarities end. I am going to venture to say that familiarity and fear of the unknown played into your decision. People like to surround themselves with what they know. They like to feel confident in their surroundings. It takes courage to change and not everyone has it.
But you do. Women are strong. You have the capacity to do anything you set your mind to. You have the capacity to learn and grow and share your new found knowledge with those around you. So, for the sake of those of us who are scared shitless that this next four years is going to turn back the clock of progress, here are a few things you need to know:
  • Feminism is, first and foremost, about equality for ALL. It is a movement to ensure that every woman has the right to be free in a free country, and to help women in tyrannical regimes gain freedom as well.
  • Feminism is not about bra burning, but about the ability to wear whatever one chooses without judgement or fear. It is a movement that allows women and girls to express themselves without fear of being attacked, shamed, or tortured.
  • Feminism is not about hating children, but the ability to plan the timing and number of children a woman bears. It is a movement that allows for the possibility that a woman may want to have many children or none. A movement that fights to maintain the right for women to make these choices for themselves in an autonomous manner.
  • Feminism is not about changing the way you live your life, but allowing you to choose that way of life. It is a movement that provides the support for each woman to achieve her goals and to reach her full potential.
  • Feminism is not about hating men or wanting to make them irrelevant. It is a movement that seeks to make women equal to men, therefore making everyone equal in the process.
  • Feminism is for ALL women, not just the liberal elites in the cities or the academics in the university system. The movement has some serious work to do in the intersectional arena, but it is getting there. Feminists need to dig deep and be sure that all groups of women are being included in the struggle. We need to be inclusive and open to all women. This includes trans women, who have been historically boxed out of the movement. We acknowledge that we have a long way to go to perfection, but we see our inconsistencies and we are working toward full equity for all.
  • Feminism is necessary and important.
  • Feminism is our only shield against the hard times that we are about to collectively face as a nation.
This election was not just about winning the presidency. It was not just about putting 100 more cracks in that highest of all glass ceilings. It was about continuing our way of life in United States. Continuing to be one of the greatest countries in the world. Continuing to overcome our past atrocities to be better, together. My hope is that we can overcome this election and push forward. That we can continue to fight for what is right and make it to the better side of history. That we can slay our demons and not return to a time when marginalized people were treated like less than human. Every individual in our great nation deserves a chance to feel part of the American dream. Every individual has the right to feel like a whole human. No matter the color of the skin, their religion, their sex organs, who they love, or how they function in the world, all humans should be equal.
So – white women who voted for Trump. Seriously, what the fuck? We are sorry that you felt the need to cry out in this way. We are sorry that we all have to live through the next 4 years together, through whatever craziness comes of this presidency. We are hopeful that the damage will not be so severe that it cannot be reversed. Next time you are upset, though, can you come to us first before you do something so rash? Can you let us feminists know that you are hurting and in need of assistance. We are here for you. And who knows, maybe you can become one of us. It is in your best interest, after all. We are here, with open arms, waiting for you to join us. Together, women can seriously change the world. We are the majority and if we stick together we can make this nation and planet better than it was yesterday, last week, or 100 years ago. We can make it a more perfect nation. The dudes always stick together, so why shouldn’t we?
Peace and good luck out there –
Chantale (aka hippiegrrl)
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Why I Vote

The day has finally arrived! Election day – the day that, as citizens of the United States, we get to vote. Voting is not something that has always been available to all of us. It took 94 years for black men and 144 years for women to win this right. It is a right AND a privilege and it should be something that every American feels strongly about doing. Unfortunately, the percentage of voters that actually make it to the polls is just slightly over half of the total population of eligible voters.

To be specific, 57.5% of eligible voters actually voted in the 2012 election (source: http://bipartisanpolicy.org/library/2012-voter-turnout/), which was down from the 2008 percentage of 62.3%. The percentage of registered voters who voted, in 2012, was at approximately 82%, but that number could be a lot higher if more Americans registered and felt the drive to exercise their rights.

What this all means is that just over half of the population determines who the President, Congress, and Senate members will be for the following 4-6 years. That is a sad state of affairs, considering how much struggle has gone into making it possible for each and every one of us to be able to have the right to vote.

So – if you are thinking of skipping the polls today it would be a travesty. Here are the reasons I vote – maybe you can relate to one (or several) of these, yourself. If so, please get out there and exercise your right to vote!

  • I vote for my niece and nephew, that their future lives might be improved by the leaders that we choose today.
  • I vote for my Nana, who was never able to cast her ballot for a woman candidate to the office of POTUS, and would certainly be overjoyed to see Hillary Rodham Clinton as the democratic candidate and 45th President.
  • I vote for my Grandma Kitty, who I hope would have been strong enough to cast her ballot for a woman candidate, despite the stifling influence of her familial hierarchy.
  • I vote for my Mama Kate, who although she was a conservative Christian, would have seen the value in a Hillary Rodham Clinton presidency and whom I believe would have set aside any religious zealotry from her pastor to vote her moral conscience for the good of the nation.
  • I vote for my Aunt, who lives under the haze of a patriarchy that has made her believe she cannot vote for any candidate other than a white male for the office of President. For her, I cast my vote to improve her world, even in the face of hatred and bigotry.
  • I vote for my great Aunt (and many other women in my ancestry) who had to endure the pain and suffering of a medical procedure that could have been made safe by legalization, and which, to this day, is still being attacked by a system unwilling to see the value in women’s decisions and grant women full bodily autonomy.
  • I vote for the women who came before me and passed away before 1920, who never had the opportunity to cast a ballot in any election in the United States of America.
  • I vote for the suffragettes that struggled to make this right available to all women; being beaten, arrested, and some even dying along the way.
  • I vote for the women in other nations that are still unable to cast a ballot in their national elections, that they may soon be able to do so.
  • I vote for the future of this nation, that all children regardless of their sex organs and gender presentation, will see themselves in our leaders.
  • I vote because I have to – because my life depends on it – because there is no other choice.

Get out there and vote!

Peace,

Chantale (aka hippiegrrl)

Looking for hope? Here it is: 2016 election forecast from fivethirtyeight.com #imwithher

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You Better Vote

“I was just a girl, in a room full of women, licking stamps and laughing. I remember the feeling of community brewing, of democracy happening.” – Ani Difranco – Paradigm

The election is in 3 days. As I sit here at the coffeehouse and think about all the years of struggle that women in the United States of America have had to endure just to get to a point of almost being equal to men, I realize that although we have a woman as nominee of a major party for the first time in history, the actual historical moment is being downplayed. It is being under-emphasized. It is being overrun by a man and a party that do not want to let go of their power. They cannot imagine a world in which the United States of America is no longer theirs, alone. No longer the nation of straight, white, wealthy, men. It is a true melting pot. And in 3 days, it will be a nation where anyone – regardless of their sex organs and gender representation – can be the leader. A nation where, only 8 years ago, we finally smashed the restriction of race to this highest post. A nation that can now, finally, continue to smash the white privileged patriarchy that we all suffer under.

The election is in 3 days and although it seems like an eternity to wait it is nothing compared to the 94 years we have waited, since the day that we were given the right to cast our vote. Nothing compared to the 144 years that women had to wait for that right in the first place. Nothing compared to the 72 years that suffragettes waited from the beginning of the movement to the day they were allowed to legally cast a vote. In 3 days, all this waiting will finally be for a reason, rather than always being for naught. We will finally win the highest office in the land. Then, finally, some real shit will get done around here.

The election is in 3 days and Secretary Clinton is already poised to be one of the most effective Presidents in our country’s history. She has already fought for the rights of women and children for decades and she will continue this work in the West Wing. She will continue to ensure that women have the right to reproductive care and autonomy over their bodies. She will continue to fight for the education of our youth and training for those currently in or returning to the workforce. She will continue to keep our country safe and fight for the rights of the disabled, low income families, the lgbtq community, and continue the fight for racial justice. She will fight for the rights of all, regardless of sex, gender, race, ethnicity, religion, sexual orientation, ability, or age. This is what we truly need for the next 4 (or 8!) years. Our country needs to be able to continue down the President Obama path. We need to continue to improve our employment numbers and secure the rights of all people. We need Secretary Clinton to be President Clinton.

The election is in 3 days and the future of our country hangs in the balance. If you are thinking about skipping the voting booth, you are making a mistake. If you are thinking about voting for Donald Trump, you are a racist, full stop. Do the right thing. Make your way to the polls and vote for Secretary Clinton. Let’s make this happen, together. The choice is clear. We must let the bigots know that we will not stand for their way of life. We must let them know that the United States of America is no longer for them. It is for those of us that care about each other regardless of what we look like. The United States of America is not for racists or sexists or homophobes or transphobes or xenophobes. It is not for people who cannot see the value of every human being. Or at least, in 3 days, my hope is that we will see that it is not for these people. Let’s make sure that this nation does not turn into a nation of hate, but remains a nation of hope. Let’s make sure we continue to grow and evolve and allow our citizens to dwell in a nation where each of us is free to practice our religion, practice our traditions, and practice our love in peace. That is what the United States of America is all about. Freedom. Let’s keep it that way by voting for Secretary Clinton.

Peace and happy voting!

Chantale (aka hippiegrrl)

Please vote – so much is at stake.

A video for your viewing/listening pleasure:

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The System Is Rigged

In the final debate of the campaign season, the Republican nominee for President of the United States did not answer a fundamental question. A question that gets at the very fabric of our democratic republic. When asked if he would accept the outcome of the election, Mr. Trump stated, “I will look at it at the time”. When pressed on an answer, he repeated, “What I’m saying is, I’ll tell you at the time, I’ll keep you in suspense, okay?” These responses, coupled with the fact that he has been floating the idea (or, really, outright stating) that the election might be rigged, to his followers, shows his true colors. This is, as Secretary Clinton stated, “horrifying”, but, perhaps, Mr. Trump has a point. He believes the system is rigged because he is not winning in the polls, but if we really stop to think about it, the system is rigged – just not in the way that Mr. Trump thinks it is. The system is rigged in favor or white, straight, wealthy, males. It always has been. Here are a few ways that the structural systems at play, in the United States, work for people like Mr. Trump:

  • There is still systematic racism in the United States: Despite the fact that we elected President Obama to office (twice!), we are not in a post-racial society – as some right-wingers would have you believe. There is bias in our systems of government, law enforcement, education, finance, etc. In 2013, the Supreme Court struck down sections of the Voting Rights act, allowing States to move forward with changes to voting procedures. This was deemed unconstitutional, by the majority, because they believe that it is no longer necessary. The trouble with this decision is that it allows States that have a history of voter suppression and segregation (Alabama, Alaska, Arizona, Georgia, Louisiana, Mississippi, South Carolina, Texas and Virginia specifically) to now make changes to their voting procedures without oversight. The justices that were in the majority, Kennedy, Roberts, Scalia, Alito, and Thomas, believed that we are in a post-racial society, but we are not. Striking down this act allows the States to make sweeping reforms in voting procedures which most often give favor to the white, affluent, male candidates in each race.
  • We still have not passed the ERA: Women have had the ability to vote since 1920, but still have not been afforded full and equal rights under the Constitution. It has taken 240 years for a woman to get this far in a Presidential election and Secretary Clinton still faces much more scrutiny than her white, male peers. Women have been struggling for equality for the entire history of this nation and still encounter sexism at work, at school, in the home, and in the public square. When Secretary Clinton is elected, we will have a small piece of the puzzle filled in, but there are still many pieces missing that we need to work hard to put together if we want to have full and equal rights.
  • LGBTQ individuals still encounter danger and unequal treatment: The gay rights movement has gained momentum over the past few decades, and reached several milestones in the last 10 years, but even with the strides that have been made, there are still hurdles to overcome for full equality. Trans people have had a particularly difficult time winning the right just to be able to use a bathroom that is consistent with their gender identification. Basically, they want to be able to pee in peace, without the threat of violence. This seems like a pretty basic right, but there are those among us that would seek to not allow this right. They do not mind that the current Republican nominee for President has sexually assaulted and harassed women, including walking into a women’s dressing room at the Miss Universe pageant, but they are afraid of someone using the stall next to them in the bathroom, who does not have matching sex organs. This country is still so concerned with puritanical ways and that is what is truly hurting us. Live and let live and support the human rights campaign every chance you get!

So – Trump is right – the system is rigged. But it is rigged in his favor and in favor of all the white men that have come before him. Rigged in favor of all 42 of the previous Presidents. So, when he loses the election, on November 8th, he needs to suck it up and concede like every loser before him has. Especially if it is a landslide. If he decides to not concede, he is only harming the country. He will be making a mockery of our democratic republic system of governance. He already has made a mockery of it, simply by virtue of rising to nominee of a major party. After the election is over, the people need to truly revolt against this two party system. We need to shake it up and start over. Neither party is good for the country and the only way to fix it is to have a major movement. Something akin to the Sanders movement, but without the ‘bros’. A movement that includes everyone, regardless of political affiliation, race, sex, gender representation, sexual orientation, ability, etc. We need to continue to make the country great by continuing our tradition of upheaval. Without that, we are no longer patriots.

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Changing Things Up

As you can see, it has been quite a while since the last official post here at Rise Up Buffalo. We have been busy working on other projects and getting locked out of our accounts, but we are ready to pick up where we left off, with a few tweaks to the original theme. Rise Up Buffalo was originally created to be a resource for the Buffalo, NY activist community. Our main goal was to inform the activist community on matters of importance. To spur actions and continue the growth of community building in the city. In the past 5 years, we feel that Twitter has become a major source of this type of community building. The opportunities for activist outreach through Twitter are endless. Coupled with other social media outlets, Twitter has been an excellent resource and continues to move change in Buffalo and across the planet. Humans writing pieces on blogs cannot keep up with the minute to minute nature of actions and Twitter was really made for that type of interaction.

Having said this, it seems that Rise Up Buffalo needs a change of focus. Instead of maintaining a standard of information gathering and dissemination for current actions, we feel that it can be a repository for nostalgia in the Buffalo community. So, as we stated back in March, we want to move forward with the writing series listed on the Series Up pages. This will become the main focus of Rise Up and we hope that you will join us on this new leg of our journey. All submissions are welcome! Please read more about this series and contact us with questions. In the meantime, be on the lookout for the first installment of Buffalo, Then, coming in November.

Peace, love, and activism,
Chantale

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Ghosts

Driving home yesterday, from my writing hours, I heard a gentleman on the radio talking about Western New York ghost tours. This peaked my interest less because of a desire to attend a tour (of which I have zero interest) and more about my previous writing on the subject of ghosts. When I was in the Sociology program, one of my professors had published a book (and has since published a second book) on the subject of memory landscapes and ghosts. He wrote about the things that lurk just under the surface in all of our lives and he encouraged us to write in a similar fashion. During my time in his classes I wrote several pieces about my own encounters with ghosts of the past. The pieces revolved around the people in the spaces, but also about the “marks” those people left behind. My professor was especially interested in these “marks” and how we incorporate them into our own lives.

It seems like forever since I thought about these concepts, but since I graduated (in 2011) I feel like the dots have connected much more often than they did while I was in the classroom. When writing for class, I would often have large lapses of understanding. Completing the readings (or as much of the 200-300 pages per week we were assigned) often left me with a void. My thoughts would wander and I would pull my material from my own surroundings. My writing was riddled with personal memories and less connections were truly being made. Even when I did make a connection, I did not always see the bigger picture of what my writing was revealing.

Now, I am hoping to restart this journey of making connections. Through intentional writing and researching, I hope to be able to continue what I started 8 years ago. My research has languished on a thumb drive and it is ready to be revitalized. I hope that my updates here will serve to push me toward greater output and I also hope that you will join me in my quest to uncover the greater truths in my work. Your responses and criticisms are always welcome and I will receive them with an open mind and heart. As I begin my research again, my posts may be spotty, but I hope to get into a rhythm of posting at least 3 (or more) times per week. This is my goal. Thank you for following along with me.

Peace,

Chantale (aka hippiegrrl)

 

Please comment below and share this column with your friends. We love new (and old) readers!

 

Relevant links:

Soft Arcades

Walter Benjamin, Hannah Arendt, Karl Marx, Judith Lorber, Max Weber, Georg Simmel, Simone de Beauvoir

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Sociology, Libraries, and Life

In 2009, I made the decision to return to school and obtain a second Bachelor of Arts degree in Sociology. This time I would apply myself. I would study and try my best not to procrastinate. I would work as a volunteer and devote myself to causes within the major. I would work on a research project and continue on into a PhD program. My goal, at the time, was to move forward into the world of academia and become a Sociology Professor.

From the moment I stepped into my first Sex and Gender class I was hooked. From there I took classes on social movements, race and class, ethnography, emotions, environmental sociology, power, research methods (qualitative and quantitative), and many other topics within the realm of social science. I had made a pact with myself that since this was a second bachelors degree I would not spend more than 2 years at the school. I had already obtained a BA from the same school and so I was not required to take many of the core classes that I took the first time around. This meant that my course of study was very specific to sociology (with a bit of anthropology thrown in for good measure – could never stay away from Dr. Fish!) and allowed me to be immersed in the subject matter. I began my studies in January of 2009 and I completed the program in May of 2011. This meant that I attended 5 semesters, but I still felt like it was a whirlwind experience.

This time in my life was somewhat tumultuous for several reasons. First, my Papa passed away suddenly in February of 2007. We were extremely grief stricken as a family, but had to keep moving forward for my Nana. In September of 2007, the job that I had worked my way up to over the course of 6 1/2 years was coming to a close as the bank I worked for was being bought out by another local bank. This meant that in February of 2008 I would be out of work. It was difficult, but not impossible as the writer had a full time teaching job and we felt like we were okay. I was given a severance package and immediate unemployment and worked until the very last moment – making me the proverbial “last one out turn off the lights” person at GBSB. It was sad, but freeing. Knowing that I would be losing my job in February, I decided that instead of continuing on in the banking world, I would go to the Small Business Association and get a loan to open a coffeehouse. I started working on that dream in October of 2007 and continued into a small business education program, run by the city of Buffalo, in January of 2008. During the planning stage, I was very optimistic. I had worked in coffeehouses on and off in my 20s and felt like this would be an excellent way to move into my 30s.

Then, in April of 2008, my Nana passed away. This was very difficult for me. We had only just lost Papa a year earlier and now we were losing Nana too. I was closer to nobody else in the world and they practically raised me alongside my own parents. The loss was great. My mom is a determined woman and although she was grieving for both of her parents, she got us through the funeral and moved us toward getting the house in order. We worked, through the summer of 2008, clearing and cleaning out the house and at the end of the summer it was sold. The Autumn holidays were the most difficult that year because Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas were my Nana’s favourites. Any day that brought her family together to visit, eat, talk, and sometimes yell and scream (as any self respecting Italian or Southern family does) was a good day for her, and the holidays were the absolute best. It felt like time stopped on April 4th and didn’t restart until after the New Year. Although it has been over 8 years, it is still difficult to think of them being gone. There are still mornings that I wake up and forget for a moment that they are not available to talk to. I will think of something to tell one or both of them and then remember they are not there anymore. Time numbs the pain, but it never fully goes away.

During the Autumn of 2008, I decided that I was going to stop pursuing the coffeehouse idea and started looking at schools. I navigated to the website for my Alma mater (Buffalo State College) and searched through several programs until I stumbled on Sociology. Since I had already obtained a degree from the school, the admission process was quick. I was admitted for Spring 2009 and thus began my journey into Sociology. So now, here I sit, 5 years beyond graduation, a Masters degree in Library Science also in my bag of tricks (obtained in a slightly longer time frame, but still useful) and a job at a software company.

So, what’s next? Where can I go with a BA in Music, a BA in Sociology, and an MS in Library and Information Science? Academia? That’s the goal, but we will see what happens. The writer completed a PhD in the last 5 years as well, and he is currently searching for a full time professor gig. We are hopeful that our degrees will allow us to move somewhere new and start a new chapter in our lives. My dream, now (and it could change at any moment) is to start off as a reference and/or research librarian in a University and then move into a PhD program. This is all contingent on our physical location in the next 5 years.

At the end of it all, I really just want to write. Helping others understand Sociological concepts and constructs would also be awesome, but if I have to do that through a library rather than a classroom I will be content. As long as my future profession involves reading and writing I will be happy. Oh – and the ability to work from the neighbourhood coffeehouse sometimes would definitely be a bonus. Writing and research – mobile employment – that is the way to go.

Peace,

Chantale (aka hippiegrrl)

 

What dreams did you have, as a teen or 20-something, that you still need to achieve? Tell me about it in the comments! And please share with your friends. We love opinions and constructive criticism!

 

Appropriate links:

How to Craft a New Career from aarp.org
Six Steps To Reinvent Your Career After A Major Life Change from forbes.com
Best Graduate Schools 2017 from US News & World Report

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Women Really CAN Do Anything

Remember when we were kids, in the 80s, and the teachers would say, “you can be anything you want to be”? They encouraged us to work hard and we would succeed. I get that we were raised in a time when that seemed to be true, but as a girl I never had the feeling that it was.

This year, we are finally seeing a shift toward the ideals we were taught as children. But it is not without pushback. Unfortunately the pushing back is not just coming from the standard, “other side” contingent, but also from inside the party of progress.

Bernie Sanders ran in the Democratic Primary to push the party in a more progressive direction and this was truly a good thing. The unfortunate outcome of his campaign, though, was the creation of BernieBros. These (mostly) dudes refuse to give up, even in the face of Senator Sanders concession on the floor of the convention. They continue to complain on social media and attack those who are trying to be happy for the historical progress we are making with the nomination of the first woman for President on the Democratic Party line.

Let me pause here to just ponder that last sentence. The first woman, in 240 years, to get this far in a presidential race in the United States. This is extremely important. It is a moment in time that we must recognize as important. Whether you vote for her or not, you must at least admit that this time is important.

But why? Why is it such a big deal? Well, think back to how I started this post. When I was a little girl, growing up in the 80s, I was told I could be anything. But people don’t truly believe that things are possible until they can see other people like them doing those things. Until a woman leads the United States, other women cannot truly believe it is possible. Someone has to go first. And it is important.

So, if you have children, especially girls, you need to have them watch the DNC tonight when Secretary Clinton accepts the nomination. It is an important part of our history and it shatters a glass ceiling that has been sealed for 240 years. We should be sharing this moment with the young ones. We should be celebrating. This is a wonderful time and I’m not going to let the BernieBros, or the Racist Trumpites, or the Evangelicals who are afraid of female power, get me down.

My one wish, that will unfortunately not come true, is for my niece to see this moment. She should be exposed to this wonderful time in history and all the doors it opens for her future. She should be taught that she can do anything she wants and see other women who are doing those things. She needs strong female role models to counteract the messages she is fed through fundamentalist sources. I cannot change the path of the future for her, but I hope that someday she finds it on her own. Women truly can do anything and my wish for her is that she has the opportunity to see and feel that fact.

Enjoy the convention. Let the moment wash over you. We are a part of this awesome time in history and we must carry it through into November!

Peace,
Chantale aka hippiegrrl

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The Continued Oppression of Women aka What Happened This Week?

Note: this is another old post. I’m cleaning out my drafts this week and wanted to share some of my thoughts from the past few years. Once I get through the draft posts, I’ll be posting new material. However, I believe that the drafts are highly relevant, even today, so here you go. Enjoy and tell your friends!

from 24 March 2015…

This week, the Duggar family was finally removed from the airwaves after a story broke about Josh Duggar (the oldest of the Duggar cult) molesting his sisters when he was 14 years old. There are many apologists (which works so perfectly since it has the dual meaning of defending the Christian faith against any question and the general idea of apologizing) who say that Duggar was young and shouldn’t be held accountable. They say he has repented for his sins and he is forgiven. They say that he had counseling and is reformed.

Well, I call bullshit on this whole mess. Josh Duggar was 14 years old when he committed these crimes against his sisters. His family covered it up and he was never punished for it. The girls were never given counseling and they were forced to continue to live under the same roof as their molester for many additional years. I wouldn’t be surprised if the girls were also taken to church and talked to by the pastor to lay the blame on them for being molested. After all, the church believes that men have urges they cannot control and it is the duty of girls/women to be ever vigilante against men and their ways. If this means that a girl is sleeping and her older brother molests her in the night, it is HER fault. Seriously. It is fucked up, but it is the way of the Evangelicals.

This particular story got me to thinking about the wider society and ways in which girls/women are held to a standard that is completely different from that of boys/men. Women are made to feel dirty if they are in touch with their own sexuality, while men are seen as simply sewing their oats. Women are restricted from wearing clothing that is considered ‘revealing’ by the standards of men, as evidenced by the outbreak of girls being sent home from prom after wearing dresses that were anything but revealing, while men can wear anything they want without repercussion. That is, with one caveat. If a boy wishes to wear a dress to his senior prom, he too will be treated like a girl and turned away for indecency. Girls have also been sent home from prom for wearing tuxedos. It never ends.

This week also brought about a new round of backlash against Hillary Clinton as she makes her run for the Democratic nomination. Commentators have painted Clinton as being too old (when at 67 she is actually in the normal age range for presidential candidates), a bitch (we know where this one comes from, don’t try to be powerful and have a vagina or this is what you will be called), a mother/grandmother (meaning she won’t have time to be in the kitchen and the oval office), and in possession of a vagina (which somehow makes her unable to lead the country, although I can name many women who have been mighty successful at it in MANY other countries across the globe.) My answer to that is, grow a pair of ovaries and get over yourselves. Hillary Clinton will make an excellent president. We just have to decide, as a country, that it is time for a woman to hold that office. We will, after all, be only 50 years behind India and 37 years behind Great Britain.

So how do we end the oppression of women in America? How can we, as a collective, push toward full equality? And I can hear some of you out there groaning and saying, “Why is she making such a big deal about this? Women have rights! They can work in many fields that men can. They can do anything they want. Feminism is over.” And to that I say, again, BULLSHIT! Feminism is not over and, in fact, we need it more than ever. And what we REALLY need right now is the ERA. Yes, I said it. We need the Equal Rights Amendment. We need assurances written into our governing documents that women will be treated as equals. Equality in EVERY area of life. That is what we truly need.

So how do we get the ERA to pass?

Learn about it: http://www.equalrightsamendment.org/history.htm

Join/Volunteer/Donate to the Alice Paul Institute: http://www.alicepaul.org/

Keep up the feminist work: http://www.feminist.org/

Sign the petition: ERA Yes!

 

Peace, Chantale aka hippiegrrl

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Girls and Boys – Perceptions Based On Sex

Note: I wrote this original post in March of 2014 – a few months before I became an Auntie. The writer and I now have a niece, Hannah, a nephew, Timmy, and another niece on the way. Although this post is old it is HIGHLY relevant. Especially right now. So – preface aside – here is my 2 year old post. Thanks for reading!!

 

Very soon I will be an aunt.  It seems odd that it has taken this long, since I am almost 40 years old, but being an only child has precluded me from this title.  Now, the writer’s brother and sister-in-law are going to be parents and the writer and I are going to be the cool uncle and aunt. How could we be anything less?

This week, I read an excellent piece about the struggles of Transgender people and the preconceived notions that those of us who are CIS believe about them. It made me think of how we should be mindful of everyone.  CIS people should not assume that they know anything about trans folks since the media has failed so terribly to depict them in anything but a stereotypical way.  Things will improve with time, but right now we are still behind in our perceptions.

How does this relate to my future niece/nephew and my status as a cool aunt?  As a future Sociologist and a Librarian, I feel that my goal will be to bring awareness to all types of humans.  To help my friends and family, as well as co-workers and acquaintances, come to an understanding of others, no matter what.  This starts at home, in both the actual and metaphorical sense.  Meaning, you don’t have to know someone that is transgender to understand their struggles.  You just need to have compassion and an open minded understanding of the fact that people are different.

Gender representation is constructed.  It is fluid.  How you feel is not how the person next to you feels.  These are facts, not beliefs.  So, with this in mind we must gain the capacity for understanding.  We must give people the space they need to express themselves without fear.  We must get to know each other as humans and act accordingly.

The first step is to stop saying things like, “I don’t BELIEVE that being transgender is real” or “if you are born with boy parts you are a boy, end of story” or, my personal annoying favourite, “if god made you a girl you will always be a girl, even if you change your parts”.  Bullshit, bullshit, and double bullshit.  You can believe anything you want, but your beliefs do not negate the fact that Transgender people do indeed exist.  You can be as stubborn as you want, but learning new things about others is good and, despite your personal belief, will not hurt you.  And don’t even get me started on the religion thing.  If that statement is true, why are there thousands of babies born with ambiguous sex organs?  Why do intersex people exist?  You cannot pray away what is real and true and scientific.

So, having said all that, I hope that my niece is a happy and healthy child. I hope that she is able to understand herself and others through a lens of acceptance and not judgement. I hope that she can be an intelligent being that is willing to listen to others experiences and open to learning new things. With an aunt like me, how could she be anything less than super cool?

Peace, Chantale aka hippiegrrl

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America Is No Longer For Us

“Remember, remember always, that all of us, and you and I especially, are descended from immigrants and revolutionists.” – Franklin Delano Roosevelt

 

“They’re not coming to this country if I’m president. And if Obama has brought some to this country they are leaving, they’re going, they’re gone.” – Donald Trump

 

“In America, anyone can become president. That’s the problem.” – George Carlin

 

The above quotes basically sum up the history of the United States in a few, succinct, soundbites.  With the Presidential race in full swing, we are starting to see more clearly exactly why America is no longer for all of us. In fact, it is really only for white, affluent, straight, cis men. If you do not believe this, then maybe you should check your privilege. We all have it, but we are not all willing to see it and understand why our perspectives are skewed by it.

I have mentioned privilege in the past on this blog and had some push back, but surely we have come farther now and can have an intelligent conversation on an intellectual concept. Surely we are able to suspend disbelief for a moment to take a few steps in someone else’s shoes. This is all that is really needed to better understand others. If only we could all do that. If Donald Trump becomes the next President of this country, we will surely never have a chance to understand one another. A new day will dawn that takes us back 100 years. When Trump says he wants to “make America great again” we should be able to see that this is coded language. Moving toward more separation and degrading of humans is not making America great. Not for all Americans, at least.

And this is where this conversation comes full circle. America is no longer for everyone. It is only for men who are white and can buy anything they need or desire. Men who seek to push everyone else down and are afraid that the masses are going to take from them. Men who have been shaking in their boots since women started taking office and a black man was elected as POTUS. Not all white, straight, affluent, cis men are bad, but the majority of them are unable to see their privilege and walk in other people’s shoes. They often do not understand why this exercise is even important and that is the real shame of it all. Empathy is important and that is what we are lacking.

But all is not lost. It is still possible for these white men to be empathetic. They can be feminists. They can be civil and tolerant. Hell, they can even be accepting. They just have to learn how to be human. Simple. So, here is a white, affluent, straight, cis (as far as I know) man that can help the others along. He is kind, accepting, and empathetic and was one of the best Presidents that this country ever had. Hands down.

“We become not a melting pot but a beautiful mosaic. Different people, different beliefs, different yearnings, different hopes, different dreams.” – Former President Jimmy Carter

Peace,

Chantale (hippiegrrl)

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Priorities

It is a new year and, as so many others do during the month of January, I am assessing my life and habits and looking toward making changes. These changes will not come in the form of resolutions. We all know what happens when we make those. No, instead, I will be making long term changes over the course of the full year. To start off my assessment, I made a list of things that I used to love doing and have, for one reason or another, stopped partaking in.

 

  1. Beading
  2. Tap Dancing
  3. Yoga
  4. Cooking from scratch
  5. Coding
  6. Blogging
  7. Writing for Sociology
  8. Swimming
  9. Learning about and developing content
  10. Singing in public
  11. Reading at the caffe

 

Most of the activities on this list have been pushed aside to make time for work and school. Although it was important to focus on other things, I believe that I can now reincorporate these activities back into my life in a meaningful way. I did not believe I had time to make necklaces or sing in a local choir because I had to focus on my future. Well, the future is now and if I continue putting things I enjoy on the back burner the future future will be bleak. So – in order to make sure that I start doing all of these activities again, in 2016 and beyond, my priorities need to be assessed and shifted. In order to do this, I must look at a typical day and see what changes can be made to incorporate things that make me happy back into weekly existence.

 

My typical day (Monday-Friday):

  • 6:45 am: Hit the snooze
  • 6:51 am: Hit the snooze
  • 6:57 am: Hit the snooze
  • 7 am: Out of bed and into shower
  • 7:45 am: Prepare food/drink for breakfast and lunch
  • 8 am: Leave for work
  • 8:30 am: Arrive at work
  • 8:30 am – 5:30 pm: Workday
  • 5:30 – 7 pm: Extended workday
  • 7 pm: Leave for home
  • 7:15 pm: Arrive at home (in perfect weather and traffic conditions)
  • 7:15 – 8 pm: Make/warm up dinner
  • 8 pm: Eat dinner
  • 9 pm: Watch television
  • 11:30 pm: Go to bed
  • 12:00 am: Fall asleep

 

The first change that I am going to make to my schedule is to only work until 5:30 pm each day. Any later than that is bad for me, both mentally and physically, not to mention it hurts my pocketbook since I am giving extra time to a company that isn’t paying for that extra service. Being a salaried employee means that when I work 45 or 50 hours a week I make less per hour than I do when I work a normal 40 hour week. There is nothing that important that I need to stay late. By making this one change, I will get back 1.5 hours per day (7.5 hours per week) of my life to relax and enjoy my dinner. Eating so late was having a horrible effect on my sleeping patterns, so I’m hoping that by having dinner by 6 or 6:30 pm each weeknight, I will be able to sleep more soundly when I hit the pillow.

 

The next change that I will make is to choose an activity from the list above and do that in the time that I’ve gotten back from not working late. What I mean by this is that if I finish eating dinner by 7:30, I will have 2 hours for an activity and 2 hours for television. This will give my dinner time to digest while I’m doing something more active before I sit down to relax for the evening. This 2-hour span of time will also be useful when the semester begins because I can use it to do my schoolwork. In the meantime, if I can get back into beading, dancing, singing or any of the other items on the list when the semester begins I can move those activities to the weekend and use the 2 hours in the evenings to study. This will make my semester more enjoyable because I won’t be spending my whole weekend reading and writing for school.

 

The third change (and this is the big one) that I am going to make in 2016 is shifting my food habits. Rather than going on a diet where I am restricting myself from eating based on calories, I’m going to start replacing foods that I know are not as healthy with alternatives. In order to assist me in this quest, I have purchased 2 books about the Whole30 plan. Once I have completed my readings and research, I will make a plan so that this can really work. It is not a diet, it is a way of life. Shifting my food choices should help me to have more energy which, in turn, will help me to get back into shape. The weight loss is not the main goal, it is a happy outcome. In order to truly facilitate this shift, the writer and I have agreed to begin by not getting take out for dinner during the week. We are going to start off with a 30-day plan to cook meals each night for dinner and bring lunches every day. This will exclude going out for dinner on the writer’s birthday and potentially 1 or 2 Sunday brunch meals, but overall we will try to cook for all 3 meals, 7 days a week, for 30 days.

 

With a 9-hour workday, an earlier dinner schedule, and a wind-down activity prior to television viewing time, I believe that I will start falling asleep faster when I go to bed and eventually I won’t have to hit the snooze so many times in the morning. Once the food shifts and the benefits of cooking at home (and this also fulfills my ‘cooking from scratch’ activity) kick in, I should gain a renewed sense of self that I have been without for quite some time. It is not just about the weight. It is really about the feeling of being healthy. It has been a while since I have felt truly good about myself, overall, and I want to get back to that place. Once I do that, I’ll be able to conquer all the items on my list and start doing the things I love once again.

 

Peace, Chantale

 

What are you doing to change yourself in 2016?  Are you a resolution maker or do you scoff at that? Tell me more about it in the comment thread and if you enjoy this post, please pass it along!

A few links:
whole30.com
whole30 shopping list
nom nom paleo
well fed resources
tips for sleeping well

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Organized Religion and Terror

On Friday, 27 November 2015, a gunmen entered a Planned Parenthood location in Colorado Springs, Colorado and began shooting. After killing 3 people and wounding 11 others, he was finally taken into custody and questioned. Over the weekend, much information has surfaced from his neighbours, former family members, and the general investigation. Of all the information given by these sources, one thing is abundantly clear, the man was on a mission fueled by the right wing in this country. His mention of “no more baby parts” proves that he was acting on rhetoric that has been floated by conservative Christians over the past several months.

Normally, I would say that this lone gunman was an outlier. That he was not indicative of the overall Christian religion. But in this case, he was acting on information that has been publically presented to be true. Over the course of the past several years, the right wing has systematically instituted ways in which the right to choose an abortion would be shut down. By passing laws to restrict access to women’s healthcare, attaching amendments to bills to defund women’s healthcare, and putting up multiple barriers through restrictions to women’s healthcare, the right wing in America has declared war on basic human rights for women. Conservative Christians have made it their mission to take away women’s rights in general and, most specifically, the right to decide what we do with our bodies.

Now, there are pastors who will say that the man that shot up the Planned Parenthood in Colorado was not a “real” Christian and that he doesn’t represent the Christian community, but he does. He is acting on information that has been supplied to him by Christians through the media. He has watched as pastors have condemned those that provide women’s health services. He has witnessed senators and congresspeople passing restrictions on women’s healthcare. He has believed the lies that have been told through multiple EDITED videos of Planned Parenthood staff that misrepresent the mission and purpose of fetal tissue donation. He has been duped into thinking that Planned Parenthood sells baby parts when these so-called “baby parts” are a figment of the collective Christian conservative imagination. All this information has flowed into this man and the outcome was horrific.

This is the fault of the right wing. This isn’t the fault of mental health or guns. This isn’t the fault of Planned Parenthood or any other women’s healthcare provider. This is the fault of conservative Christians that stand across the street from abortion clinics and other women’s healthcare facilities and scream at patients on their way in to be provided a legal service. This is the fault of conservative Christians that put up banners on college campuses to shame students into signing petitions against women’s healthcare. This is the fault of every single Christian that sides with the anti-choice movement. Organized religion has, indeed, propagated terror.

And in this sense, conservative Christians have allowed it to happen. Unlike Muslims, who are NOT responsible for the small faction of fundamentalists that propagate terror in the name of Islam, conservative Christians are at fault when it comes to these acts of terror against women seeking basic healthcare services. When the party line is anti-choice, this is what happens. So, stop saying that these “lone gunmen” are outliers. Stop saying they don’t represent all conservative Christians. Stop trying to distance yourself from them and stop trying to make them into mentally ill “activists”. Call them what they are – terrorists – and then call them out. Start teaching peace within the movement. Start working together WITH Planned Parenthood to create programs that allow for family planning to lower the number of abortions rather than standing in front of clinics and inciting violence. Start being the change you wish to see rather than the hatred that is spewed toward other humans. Start being Christian.

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What are you grateful for?

American Thanksgiving. A day to gather together with family and friends and eat massive amounts of carbs. A day to remember the Pilgrims and pretend that the very first Thanksgiving was festive for them AND the Natives. After all, rewriting history is what we are all about as a nation so why should today be any different?

But that, actually, isn’t why I am writing today. Today I wanted to write about all the reasons that Thanksgiving is my second favorite holiday (behind Halloween of course).

  • Thanksgiving isn’t about commercialism. It doesn’t require any gift giving other than the sharing of time and culinary offerings. Your shopping list for the holiday consists mostly of edibles and doesn’t require visiting the mall. That is a holiday celebration I can get behind!
  • You don’t need to be religious to celebrate. Thanksgiving doesn’t require you to be down with an organized belief system other than thankfulness. And we all know that people can be giving and kind without dogma. Thanksgiving is about being human not whether or not you believe in a deity. 
  • It falls on a Thursday every year so if you are not in retail you can generally take Friday off and have a four day weekend. Who doesn’t love four days away from the drudgery? And after all those carbs you will definitely need the time to recoup. 
  • Thanksgiving is the last hurrah before the commercial holiday season. It’s status as kind of in the shadow of Christmas (and in some stores Thanksgiving barely exists at all) makes it a relaxing day that doesn’t have to be anything but exactly what it is. A day to gather, eat, drink, and relax. 
  • You don’t need to have a family to enjoy Thanksgiving. It is a holiday that can be shared with friends, colleagues, acquaintances, etc. People invite each other over to share in the day and there are no family only rituals that make the guest feel awkward. 
  • People show their good nature and charity. Christmas spirit has got nothing on the charity shown on Thanksgiving. People volunteer to serve fellow humans, give money to good causes, and generally express a charitable nature on and around the holiday. And religious affiliation makes no difference. Helping others is something that humans can do no matter their religious affiliation. Even those that have no affiliation. 
  • Thanksgiving is not in your face like other holidays. People aren’t upset if you wish them a happy turkey day instead of Thanksgiving. There is only one day to gather and the celebration revolves around food and not gifts. It’s a good time without all the pomp and circumstance. 
  • There is a parade dedicated to it. In NYC. I think that seals it. Thanksgiving rocks. 

Enjoy your Thanksgiving, however you celebrate. I hope it is relaxing and fun. It is the last hurrah before the holiday craziness, after all, so take advantage of it!

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Before and After

Many things have changed over the years, but one thing has always remained constant. I love New York City and I have always thought that I would end up there eventually. There has never been a clear path to this goal, but the thought was always there. Waiting. Running in the background of every decision I have made. Each step has been a step in the direction of NYC.

For the first 21 years of my life I believed that music would get me there. Singing was my ticket in and I would use my talent to carve out a life in the city. What I did not count on was the fact that I have an innate laziness when it comes to keeping up with things such as musical ability. I also did not believe that I could do it, so that stunted my attempts. My threshold for criticism was low and my understanding of my own talent was lacking. To put it another way, I was afraid. Music is all about being judged and I was terribly fearful of not being the best. Although I put forth a pretty laid back attitude, I am a perfectionist and because of this need to be perfect I had a lot of trouble hearing otherwise. Especially in situations where I could hear that others were not up to par but still got parts over me. Musical theatre is a game and the most important part of playing is to know people. If you do not have contacts you can be the best singer in the world and you will never get beyond the open calls. Callbacks are pipe dreams for people without connections.

From the ages of 22-38 I believed that it was more important to save money than to try and go to the city. I thought that once I got out of debt and I was living comfortably an opportunity would present itself. This does not happen. If you want something badly enough you have to go out and grab it. So I languished in Buffalo, moving from job to job thinking that each career move was getting me closer to my goal. During this time I also married the writer and we started discussing what our future would look like, together. At the time of our marriage, he was not too keen on moving anywhere larger than the size of Buffalo, but this was before the trip.

This is where the title comes in. There is a before the trip life and an after the trip life. Before the trip, the writer and I were moving in a direction of a mortgage, two cars paid off, minimal debt, and a possible future adopted family. After the trip we are moving toward the city and all that it entails. Some of the before things could happen, but some will be set aside to make the city happen. This is necessary and makes us both extremely happy. Now that we are in our after trip lives we can see clearly why the city is really the only option. This is giving us the courage and conviction to make it work at any cost.

Here are a few of the before and afters that are really propelling us forward today:

Before the trip the writer had no idea what the city was like.
After the trip he is in love with the city and what it has to offer.

Before the trip our daily work lives were long and arduous.
After the trip daily work is all in the grand scheme of an eventual, mapped out goal, making it easier to get up in the morning and go to the temporary jobs we are currently in. Of course there are still days when we want to throw in the towel, but being that it is after the trip it makes it easier to push through knowing that it will all be worth it in the end.

Before the trip living in the city seemed like a dream that was unattainable.
After the trip living in the city seems less daunting. With hard work and perseverance any dream can come true.

Before the trip the standard conversation had by many WNY residents was believable. The negativity and naysaying was easy to buy into.
After the trip these conversations are more clear. They are ways to stifle those that want to fly free. They are ways to ‘prove’ that moving anywhere, not just the city, is unattainable, but they are wrong. With hard work, perseverance, and a plan, anything is, indeed, possible.

We will prove them wrong. We will make it work. The alternative is a life of languishing in Buffalo, or some other steel town, until death. Not happy. Not true. Not what we want. We will not let the negativity keep us down or hold us back. We are on our way, so watch out!

Peace,
Chantale

What do you come up against when trying to map out your dreams? Let me know in the comments below!

If you enjoyed this post, please pass it along to friend and foe alike. We love discourse!

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Trying New Things aka Letting Go of the Past to Create a Better Future

Throughout my life I have been skeptical of pretty much everything.  I have been highly attracted to the mystical and spiritual side of life, but I have never fully bought into any of it. Each time I go to the bookstore, I end up in one of three sections; Sociology, Cultural Studies, or New Age/Spirituality. Self improvement has been something that I have been longing to jump into, but never had the guts to fully commit to. That is, until now.

This week I downloaded a new book on audible by Jen Sincero titled You are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life. I figured I would listen for a few chapters, put it on hold for a future date, and complete it next year sometime when I was bored and just wanted to finish something. This was NOT the case. I was sucked in. Every trip in the car was an opportunity to listen to a chapter. I sat in the parking lot at home and at work a number of times just to get to the end of a section. I listened intently to all she had to say and things started to line up.

Why have I not been committed to making my life truly, madly, and deeply better? Well, one reason is that I have been lazy but another is that I didn’t really believe in myself or the universe. There are days when I think that just driving in to work is a futile activity, but I do it anyway because I have to. This is a self limiting belief. Yes, I have to go to work to make money to pay bills to live, but I don’t have to do it where I am, now, forever. I can put positive vibes out into the universe, be grateful for what I have, raise my frequency, and know that what I truly want is out there waiting for me to grab it.

Now you might say, “Seriously? You? The most sarcastic and self loathing person in my life is going to change?” Yes. I am. Self limiting beliefs are just that. Self Limiting and Beliefs. They stop us from moving forward in life and they restrict what we think we can and should do. They do not give us hope or make us grateful. They keep us down and on the couch, wishing we could move forward but somehow stuck. Well, I refuse to be stuck any longer.

I feel that this blog has already been a step in the right direction. The pieces I have written have been positive in nature and detailed little things I have been working on to move forward. Having listened to this book (and I will be listening several more times to get the concepts really ingrained and do the exercises to strengthen my resolve) I know that I can manifest that which I want and by being open to the universe and all it has to offer, I am giving myself the ability to receive good things in return. By meditating and sending out good vibes, the way that I want my life to be will be. It is that simple and, at the same time, that difficult.  The difficulty comes from the change in self limiting thoughts and behaviours. These are ingrained in us from years of learning from other people exactly who, how, and what we should be. Those other people, however, are not us. They are not inside our brains or living our lives. They have their own lives to live.  The first step in any self improvement journey is to shake off the negativity and get right with yourself. Move away from the self limiting beliefs of others and make your own new, different, and more positive beliefs. Turn your frown upside down in a bigger, more cosmic sense. Move ahead with conviction and determination, remaining grateful, and life will open up.

I hope you will join me on this new journey and that I can post more often on the events and new experiences that come my way based on my new determination. As I continue to manifest my destiny (which already exists out there in the universe) I will make a conscious effort to keep you, my readers, involved and up to date with my journey. I am sure there will be some bumps in the road, but I have been here before. Quitting smoking was one of the most difficult and most rewarding things I did for myself. It took guts and determination and this past August I hit the 6 year mark.

If I can take my new self improvement ideas and marry them with my old, ingrained level of determination, which I displayed in my ability to stay smoke free for 6 years, I can do ANYTHING! Stick with me and you will see. We can be awesome. We just have to choose to be and then keep at it.

Peace and Happy Manifesting,

Chantale aka hippiegrrl

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What Is Success?

Throughout my life I have had many different understandings of what success should look like. I have been able to see success through the lens of how other people achieve things, but never really see that in myself.

When I was a teenager, I thought success was connected to fame. I wanted to sing and dance on Broadway and I thought that if I could just get on any stage, in any role, I would be successful. I did not have to be the lead, just in the show. Success was something that would only come with practice and sweat. Working my ass off was the only way to get there and I felt somewhat lazy when I started putting on weight and trailing off on my practice regimen. Through my college career my focus shifted away from Broadway shows and on to Opera (not by my personal choice, but by the choice of my voice professor who would have “none of that belting in my rehearsal space!”) This shift made me start to see success as something else entirely. Something less tangible. I did not want to be a Diva, so I scraped the whole performance thing and moved on.

After graduating with my music degree my goal was to move out on my own. Success, it seemed, was living in my own apartment and working a full time job that could afford me the ability to go out to eat and still pay the bills. This definition of success seems to have been the one that has stuck with me the longest as I still have this idea in my head that I need to be able to consistently support myself, and anyone else that lives with me, with the basic necessities. This is a much lower bar compared to my teenage idea of success, but it works.

Next month I will be 40 years old, as you already know since I like to mention it often. With entry into this new decade I feel that I am long overdue for a refresh of my idea of success. Armed with 2 bachelors degree, in music and sociology, and a pending masters degree in library science, I am ready to look toward a future that I had not imagined when I was in my 20’s. Writing has always been something I love to do and something that often gets sidelined for whatever other task is necessary in the moment. The only time I really was able to concentrate on writing was when I was doing research in my Sociology program. Being able to observe, read, research, and write was something I loved doing and this is what I believe success looks like for my future. Whether that is within the walls of a library at an academic institution or in a small writing group at the local literary organization, I need to find a place to be able to do these 4 mentioned things and I will feel successful. If I can get paid to do them as well, that will be a bonus.

The lesson learned from this reassessment of success is that it does not have to be tied up with jobs or money. It can be personal success. Setting goals and achieving them. Doing things that make me happy and still being able to pay the bills. Living somewhere that I have only ever dreamed of living and being able to make it. These are the things that truly make up my new definition of success. The writer and I are moving toward it now in a new and different way and within the next 5 to 10 years I can see it happening. As long as we both work hard and push ourselves to new levels, we will be successful in a way that makes us content and that is the best definition of success anyone can hope for.

Peace, Chantale

What is your idea of success? Share with me in the comments!

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Looking Inward

This is the year of 40. Although it does not happen until nearly the end, it is colouring all my decisions. It sounds like a sad occasion, but it is not. 40 has given me a clarity I did not realize I could have. My experiences leading up to this milestone birthday are helping me make key decisions for life going forward.

So what have I learned? Here are some of the highlights.

1. I have the ability to shape my future to my liking, without the voices in my head that say otherwise.
2. I can overcome negativity, rise above it, and be a better human.
3. I can live anywhere in the country (or world) and be happy. My location on the planet does not determine my mental state.
4. My talents can be combined to make a kick ass career, if I just apply myself to the future.
5. I do not need to have children to feel fulfilled.
6. My life will mean something only if I make a difference for others while I am here on this rock.
7. The life I thought I was supposed to live should never hold me back from the possibilities of the future.

A key concept that I have decided to pursue in order to make the future bright involves modifying my state of mind. Here is my plan to gain clarity and move forward. This can be useful for so many of us and I wish that I had been presented with it at a young age. It is not about being selfish, but mindful.

First, block off a minimum of 15 minutes, uninterrupted. Be sure to have paper and a pen or pencil, whichever you prefer. Find a comfortable spot to sit where you can reflect and write. Once you are settled begin by writing down your top dream in life. What did you want to do when you were growing up? It can be the most impossible dream ever, but you should still write it down. When you are considering this dream, do not veer off into blame or negativity. Do not think of the reasons why you did not fully pursue the dream, just simply consider it.

Now think about where you are currently. What is your situation? Do you have bills and a family? Do you have a job you love or a job you hate? Are you in a slump? Write this down.

Next, think about what you would do to change your current situation to make it happy for you. This is difficult, but during this portion of the exercise do not think of others. Only focus on you. In a world where you are on your own, with no obligations or restrictions, what would you do? Would you pursue your previous dream or would you create a whole new dream? Would you move to a new city or would you stay where you are? If no other human beings were involved in your decision making, what would you do? Write this down.

Last, think in practical terms. If you were to pursue this new (or old) dream, what would you need to do to make it happen? Would you need to take classes? Would you need to travel? Would you need to get better organized or would you simply have to just get started? Write down the steps you need to take to make this dream a reality. Again, do this without consideration for others.

Now, I realize this might seem like a self centered exercise and, in fact, it totally is, but that is the point. If you do not take the time to sit and think about your own goals and dreams, you will never seek to achieve beyond your current state. You will continue to live in the past, hold grudges, grip tight to the things you have that you think make you who you are, and never leave your comfort zone. This exercise does not have to result in a full life change, but it simply gives you clarity and, perhaps, a plan to move forward. Having self awareness and self reliance are important parts of being a functioning human. Being able to move forward with positivity is the goal. Whether you stay where you are in life or move on, as long as you gain an inner peace, this exercise was successful. Releasing the past is key to moving forward.

I hope this is as useful to you as it has been for me. I find that doing this exercise every couple months can help me to refocus my goals. I may not get to my ultimate dream, but I will get closer than I would if I chose to never consider my own needs and wants. It also gives me the clarity to make my five year plans and move forward toward those larger life goals. Let me know what you think in the comments.

Peace,
Chantale

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The Future of Feminism

The future is bright for those in the feminist movement but our work is never done.  With that in mind, I feel it is a good time to put down my thoughts on the future of feminism and the next generation (are we going to call them 4th wavers?) of women and men that will keep the movement strong.  One of those women will be my niece.  She is yet to be born, but I vow to be a good influence on her sense of self worth and equality.

Here are some of the things I hope for her, and all women growing up in the coming years, decades, and centuries.  This is as close as I will ever get to words of wisdom, so I hope they are taken in the spirit they were intended. Keep them in context and understand that I say the following out of love and commitment to the movement and all those that will carry on the legacy.

Always know who you are and don’t let others bring you down

This is a tall order as society places many restrictions on a woman’s sense of worth.  We have to fight every day to feel good about ourselves, beginning with the way we look when we leave the house, to the things we do once we are out there in the world.  Men do not encounter the level of scrutiny that women do when it comes to appearance and choice of task (whether it be staying home with children or taking the business world by storm.)  At the end of it all, we must know ourselves and our own personal strengths and limitations.  These must be learned through our autonomy as humans and never fostered by negativity from outside.  Be you.  Let the negativity roll off your back and march ever forward.  The only opinion that matters is your own.

The choice is yours

Your body is your own and nobody can make choices for you. You must choose for yourself. Do not misconstrue this to mean that you are alone in the world for you are not. There is always someone there for you no matter the situation. In my life, I will always be the open minded and honest hearted person who will support my niece (and every other woman in my circle of family and friends) NO MATTER WHAT their choices are.

You don’t have to smile if you don’t want to

On too many occasions in life, I have been told to smile. This is my face and I don’t have to be happy to make you feel okay about yourself. This is actually a pretty common theme. If women do not make themselves into something that can be well presented to the world, they are looked down upon. When women don’t wear makeup or don’t have perfectly coifed hair, when they don’t make themselves appear to be happy even when they are not, they are thought to be assaulting others with their lack of “upkeep”. This, I must say, is bullshit. We should be able to look and feel any way we want without criticism or complaint. This is who we are and we will continue to live strong, healthy lives whether we smile or not.

Being smart is cool

There will be times in your life when you are made to feel too smart. As if women who are smart somehow make men feel inferiour. Well, I have two things to say to that; first it is nonsense and second, even if it is true, so what? Men have made women feel inferiour for eons for a million little things, so maybe this isn’t such a bad thing. If a smart woman makes you feel inferiour, maybe you need to assess yourself rather than turning it back on her. Smart is awesome and there is no reason to dumb yourself down for anyone, especially not a man.

You don’t need to be in a relationship to be happy

This does not mean that you should be alone. Having a significant other is a wonderful experience, but not for everyone. The point of this is that you should never need another person in your life to know that you are okay. You can take care of yourself and you should never feel like that is impossible. Of course we all need help sometimes, but that doesn’t make us weak or needy, it makes us human. So, whomever you choose to spend your days and nights with is your choice, but never feel that you have to have someone in your life to feel worthy. Self worth comes from inside, not from the musings or gaze of another.

You are worthy

No matter your sex, gender representation, sexual orientation, race, ethnicity, religious affiliation, or level of ability, you are special and worthy. Never let the world make you believe you are not. Society is a tough place for all of us to navigate, but knowing deep down that you are who you were meant to be can go a long way to keeping you healthy and happy. Knowing, also, that you have people that believe in you and know you are who you were meant to be is invaluable. Keep a network of like minded and supportive people around you and you shall never fail.

I could go on all day, but I think you get the gist. Women are just as strong as men and can do anything they set their minds to. As feminists, we need to stick together, stay united in the movement, and push forward toward full equality. Someday, it will be a reality, and in the meantime, keeping the positivity flowing around each and every woman is the only way to find true self worth. We must support one another and keep up the fight.

Peace and Love,
Chantale (aka auntie chanti/hippiegrrl)

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Riot Grrrl: Better Late Than Never

The 90’s were a time of new music with an undercurrent (and sometimes blatant current) of radical feminism. L7, Sleater-Kinney, Bratmobile, and, the leaders of feminist punk, Bikini Kill. Back then, I listened to the music, but I wasn’t fully in the scene. Living in Niagara Falls and attending school in Buffalo removed me from the angst-ridden, raw intensity of the scene in Portland, DC, and NYC. My life was pretty good and, as such, I didn’t have much to riot about.

 

I did create a ‘zine, but it was focused more on movie reviews with occasional pieces on homophobia. I was in touch with the sexism, racism, and homophobia of my hometown, but I didn’t quite yet know how to express my rage. Riot Grrrl culture would have saved me, had the internet existed. This, I suppose, is where the disconnect began. In the early 90’s, before the prolific nature of the internet could infect our homes, we had to get our music and cultural news from MTV and the radio. Living in Buffalo afforded me a wealth of great music, coming out of Toronto, Ontario, on CFNY, but not so much a wealth of female voices. I saw stories on MTV news about the Riot Grrrls movement, but that movement never really made it to Buffalo. Sure, we did “Take Back The Night” walks every year at school and we had speakers come in and talk about women’s issues, but we didn’t have anything on the level of Riot Grrrl. There was no Kathleen Hanna to scream for us in Buffalo and Ani Difranco was pale in comparison to that level of rage.

 

So, my path leads me back to Riot Grrrl. It always, inevitably, does. I may not have had a name for it in the 90’s, but radical feminism has always been a huge part of my existence. I’ve always been outspoken in my defense of women, myself and others, and have tried to convey my utter disgust for the lack of feminist sources in my hometown. The difference though, between Kathleen Hanna and myself, is that I am not as motivated as her. Although we share a birthday, (12 November, along with Neil Young, Grace Kelly, Charles Manson, and Ryan Gosling) she is way more fierce!

 

She got up on the stage and screamed out the reality of her own life and the lives of others. I could barely write a word about my life until the last few years. She yelled at the audience to bring the ‘girls to the front’. I kept my mouth shut, while growing up, through a lot of patriarchal bullshit. She stuck to her principles in the face of complete and total sexism. I let shit go. She always stayed true to herself and the cause of radical feminism. I let my desire to be liked get in the way of my activism for too long. Not any more! I am revitalized! After watching “The Punk Singer” documentary, I am reenergized and ready to move forward.

 

Since we moved into the 21st century, the riot grrrl movement seems to have fizzled. There are still pockets of the radical feminist scene, but the overall music and zine culture that was directly connected to riot grrrl has dwindled. My question then is, what happened? Was the scene not sustainable without big figures like Hanna? Was a change in music the death knell for grrrl punk? Or did the boys just retake their places at the top? Why do women need to continuously fight for their places in music?

 

Feminism is not dead, but the patriarchy wants it to be. The second wave feminists are still pushing ahead, but the ERA is still not ratified. The third wavers have taken the struggle online, but the social media spaces are crawling with misogynists waiting to pounce. Women are baited with articles about career women vs. stay at home moms, shifting our focus from feminist goals. We should be gathering together and fighting for our lives. There are too many attacks, in the United States (not to mention around the world), on our collective rights as women.

 

The powers that be, which often include other women, wish to take away our right to control our own bodies. They want to take away our agencies and our voices. They want to make us helpless and powerless as a group so they can continue to control us. The patriarchy will never quit fighting so neither should we. We have to push onward. Continue marching! Continue running for office and retaining feminist values while leading! Organizing as if our lives depend on it, because they do! And never believe the media when they say that feminism is dead. It is alive and kicking and we will continue in the riot grrrl path. Never compromise! Never concede! Never go back!

 

Peace and Happy Patriarchy Smashing!
Chantale

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Happiness

This week, at the office, we had a gentleman from the Wellness Institute of Greater Buffalo come in to do a seminar on happiness in the workplace and the home. It was slightly dry, at times, but still motivational. The thing that struck me the most was that the answer to almost any question about happiness is positivity. If you want to be happy, act happy. If you want to be happy, don’t hold grudges. If you want to be happy, be nice to others. And my personal favourite, if you want to be happy, surround yourself with positive people.

positiveThis is all well and good, in theory, but once you sit down and really think about how to put this into action, that is where the fun begins. What if you have negative family members? What if you have friends that hold grudges longer than life itself? How do you extricate yourself from situations where you are surrounded by negativity?

My first thought was to just be a happier person, internally. Radiate positivity and others will be happy because of their proximity to you. At one of my old jobs, we used to make a joke about how all you really needed was a positive mental attitude (PMA) and you could get through anything. Unfortunately, that idea was born out of the fact that we had a boss that was so awful that she was making us all unwell with her tyranny. When a group is under stress, they often bond together over the stress, and try to rise above it. Now, all those that worked for her (except one remaining hanger on) have gone on to better things and rose above what she believed any of us could do in our lives. We have exceeded our own expectations by blowing her negativity out of the water and showing her that we had more capacity than she imagined. In this case, the PMA worked in our favour. PMA, along with the act of leaving the job and separating from the negative force that was the crazy boss, worked. What was the lesson learned? If you are working for someone that is negative, get out! Start looking for somewhere else to work immediately. Start pushing yourself toward that career where there are people that see you as a human and know you have worth. Bottom line: move on! This is easy to accomplish in the workplace, however, when you are thinking about family and friends, this gets a bit more murky.

Surrounding yourself with positive people ultimately implies that you must either make negative people into positive people (which is nearly impossible) or shut the negative people out. In these seminars, the facilitators always say the same things about surrounding yourself with positivity, but they never really get to the way to go about it. How does one simply walk away from a family member? How many years do you try to make someone close to you more positive before you simply give up the fight? When there is a toxic person in your life, sometimes you need to just detach from them. This sounds harsh, and especially so if that person is a family member, but it is true. There are times when you just have to let go of the family/blood connection and move on. Otherwise, it is impossible to be a healthy and happy person yourself.

Health and wellness are inextricably attached to happiness. Our brain chemistry effects the way we feel in very profound and sometimes hidden ways. If you hold on to negative thoughts, feelings, and relationships, they can ultimately make you sick in one way or another. This is why we must strive to first be positive in our day to day lives. If that rubs off on others and they become more positive in the process, great! If not, at some point, the ties must be severed. Sometimes, just sitting down and telling someone how you really feel about their negative attitude and that you will stop talking to them if they don’t try to be more positive can also do the trick. Sometimes it cannot. We can try our best to spread sunshine (no matter how hokey that sounds, and it does sound super hokey) everywhere we go and hope that a little bit of it rubs off on others.

One final note: when I talk about having a PMA and spreading happiness, this isn’t the kind of nice attitude that is fake. Having worked in the banking industry for almost 10 years, one of the main lessons I learned was that nice is not always what it seems to be. When you are in an industry that has a main goal of increasing sales over time, at all costs, you will run into many fake/nice people in your travels. Many sales people feel that being nice is something they have to portray in order to pull you in and, to a certain extent, they are correct. However, if after the customer (or ‘mark’, if you prefer) walks out the door, that same salesperson can often turn into a raging asshole. I’ve seen this happen more often than not and it isn’t real positivity. It is pure salesperson bullshit wrapped up in a fake PMA. This is unhealthy for the person pursuing this way of being, as well as those that work for her/him. Fake is not what you should go for if you want to improve your life. Genuine happiness comes from genuine positivity. It is as simple as that. Look on the bright side because there is a bright side, not because you think you have to see one. Look for the true positivity in your day to day life and you will be much happier and healthier for it.

Peace and happiness, always,
Chantale