Tag: sexuality

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Be Better

We are all human beings. We live our lives the way we see fit and we move through life with different goals in mind. Some of us judge others and some of us do not. Recently, I have had several interactions with a certain dude on Facebook that is not exactly cordial, to put it very mildly. The topic of discussion is always Christianity and it always ends with me questioning how he can have hatred toward specific groups of people (and see that hatred as an integral part of his religious belief system) and he tells me I am not a true believer.

This does not bother me as much as it might bother others because he is right about one thing: I do not believe in the same God that he does. I am not a true believer in the ways of Christianity that the Evangelical movement would have people believe are right and true. I believe in the beatitudes. I believe in a loving Jesus, that was open to all people and did not judge them even when he saw their sins. I am not an every Sunday Christian, but I am also not an atheist. None of this really matters because it is not his or anyone else’s business what I believe, but he often takes it upon himself to tell me that I am different because I do not believe what he does.

My main issue, during these conversations/debates, is that he does not believe in Transgender people. He does not believe they exist. Here is the thing though – it does not matter if he does not believe in them because Transgender people DO actually exist. His belief system does not make things that actually exist in the world disappear. It simply makes him an asshole for treating people with disrespect because he does not ‘believe’ in them. Just because he thinks that being a homosexual is wrong, does not mean that people in the LGBTQ community will wake up one morning and start being straight, cis, and binary. Just because he does not believe that a woman should be POTUS because she should only be a helpmeet for her husband (because, you know, all women should be married to men and making babies – not working and certainly not being bosses) does NOT mean that a woman will not be President someday. Times change and we should change with them. New information comes to light that changes the way people think and feel and we should adjust for that. Science finds variations in the reality of humanity and we all learn new things about the world. Some of us trust new information and some reject it.

If you are one of those people that truly believe that people you consider different should stop being who they are, on a fundamental level, then perhaps you should also stop enjoying the fruits of their labour. Here is a list of all the things that you cannot enjoy if you are going to denounce other humans because they are different from you in ways that you deem ‘wrong’ as an Evangelical:

  • Musical theatre – The theatre is a place for creativity and openness. Musicals are written by and for people that have open minds. Even if the musical has a religious theme (Jesus Christ Superstar, Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, Godspell, Children of Eden, etc.) that does not mean that all the performers, directors, writers, and tech folks are straight and/or cis. The musical theatre community is known for being an open place for ALL people to practice their talents and feel safe. So – musicals are, for lack of a better word, OUT!
  • Pop music – If it is meant to be played on the radio and for the consumption of the general public, then there is most likely at least one LGBTQ member of society involved in the creation of said music. And hey, you never know, so better safe than sorry, right? I guess you have to remove that radio from your car and give up that Spotify account now, eh?
  • Literature – There are books in the canon written by and for LGBTQ people. There are books that have stories that revolve around LGBTQ lives and allow for people in the LGBTQ community to see themselves in these stories. This is a positive step for the literary world as literature should continue to tell the stories of people from all walks of life. I suppose you should stop reading anything but the bible, then – but wait! Even the bible has LGBTQ themes within it. I guess you have to put that book up on the shelf as well. Unfortunately, that will mean that your learning will be stunted, but, then again, it seems like learning is not really something you find important anyway, so start discarding those books! And I suppose you need to stop going places where books exist so that means that libraries, bookstores, and Amazon are now all off limits.
  • Television – This one is probably going to be hugely difficult, but did you know that many writers, producers, actors, and showrunners are actually from the LGBTQ community? There are new shows coming out every season that tell the stories of this community – again a positive step, just like in literature – but for you not so much. So you better shut off that television – maybe sell the television to some sinner to get it out of your life altogether.
  • Movies – see Theatre and Television above. Are you getting the picture?
  • Food – This is a funny one, but did you know that a lot of LGBTQ people actually work in the restaurant industry? When you go out to eat there could be an LGBTQ person making your dinner – or serving your dinner – or making money off the restaurant chain you are eating at – or sitting at the table next to you. Perhaps you should stop leaving the house altogether? You could always order one of those online food service things, but then there could be LGBTQ people putting the boxes together or delivering your mail.
  • All things Disney – This will be especially hard to hear for some Evangelicals out there that are Disney fanatics, but did you know that Disney is a gay-friendly organization? In fact, there are many Disney characters that are actually gay. Disney is also an inclusive company. Oh, the horror. How will you enjoy your heteronormative views around the Disney princesses if you know that a few of those princesses might actually be lesbians or feminists or powerful on their own? Modern day Disney princesses don’t even need the prince to save them because they are no longer damsels in distress. It is pretty awesome, but I guess if you are an Evangelical this disqualifies Disney as well. Better unpack your bags and stay home – no Disney vacation this year!

I think you get the point. LGBTQ people exist in the world. Lesbians exist. Gay men exist. Bi-sexuals exist. Transgender people exist. Queer people exist. Genderfluid people exist. Intersex people exist. Polyamorous people exist. Pansexual people exist. These people are everywhere and they are all a part of the wonderful fabric that makes up humanity. We are never going to go back to a time where people have to hide because of who they are as humans. Those of us who are allies to people in the LGBTQ community will forever stand beside them and fight for their right to be who they are and not have to live in fear. Religious fanatics who think LGBTQ people do not deserve to exist need to change their minds or become hermits. There is really no other option. Sorry, dude, but I’m not going to stop advocating for my friends and if you don’t like it, I guess we won’t be talking much anymore either.

Peace,

Chantale aka hippiegrrl

footnote: Since this post was started (14 December 2017) I hid the aforementioned dude’s feed on Facebook. I also hid his wife’s feed. This means that I will be somewhat out of touch with the goings on in their lives, but it is just easier this way. Eventually, I will unfriend them, but I’ve been lackadaisical when it comes to cleaning up my feeds. I am far overdue for a purge though, so, maybe April or May? Oh, but don’t worry, dear readers, I am still keeping receipts of these interactions which I will be archiving over on my latest tumblr.

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Riot Grrrl: Better Late Than Never

The 90’s were a time of new music with an undercurrent (and sometimes blatant current) of radical feminism. L7, Sleater-Kinney, Bratmobile, and, the leaders of feminist punk, Bikini Kill. Back then, I listened to the music, but I wasn’t fully in the scene. Living in Niagara Falls and attending school in Buffalo removed me from the angst-ridden, raw intensity of the scene in Portland, DC, and NYC. My life was pretty good and, as such, I didn’t have much to riot about.

 

I did create a ‘zine, but it was focused more on movie reviews with occasional pieces on homophobia. I was in touch with the sexism, racism, and homophobia of my hometown, but I didn’t quite yet know how to express my rage. Riot Grrrl culture would have saved me, had the internet existed. This, I suppose, is where the disconnect began. In the early 90’s, before the prolific nature of the internet could infect our homes, we had to get our music and cultural news from MTV and the radio. Living in Buffalo afforded me a wealth of great music, coming out of Toronto, Ontario, on CFNY, but not so much a wealth of female voices. I saw stories on MTV news about the Riot Grrrls movement, but that movement never really made it to Buffalo. Sure, we did “Take Back The Night” walks every year at school and we had speakers come in and talk about women’s issues, but we didn’t have anything on the level of Riot Grrrl. There was no Kathleen Hanna to scream for us in Buffalo and Ani Difranco was pale in comparison to that level of rage.

 

So, my path leads me back to Riot Grrrl. It always, inevitably, does. I may not have had a name for it in the 90’s, but radical feminism has always been a huge part of my existence. I’ve always been outspoken in my defense of women, myself and others, and have tried to convey my utter disgust for the lack of feminist sources in my hometown. The difference though, between Kathleen Hanna and myself, is that I am not as motivated as her. Although we share a birthday, (12 November, along with Neil Young, Grace Kelly, Charles Manson, and Ryan Gosling) she is way more fierce!

 

She got up on the stage and screamed out the reality of her own life and the lives of others. I could barely write a word about my life until the last few years. She yelled at the audience to bring the ‘girls to the front’. I kept my mouth shut, while growing up, through a lot of patriarchal bullshit. She stuck to her principles in the face of complete and total sexism. I let shit go. She always stayed true to herself and the cause of radical feminism. I let my desire to be liked get in the way of my activism for too long. Not any more! I am revitalized! After watching “The Punk Singer” documentary, I am reenergized and ready to move forward.

 

Since we moved into the 21st century, the riot grrrl movement seems to have fizzled. There are still pockets of the radical feminist scene, but the overall music and zine culture that was directly connected to riot grrrl has dwindled. My question then is, what happened? Was the scene not sustainable without big figures like Hanna? Was a change in music the death knell for grrrl punk? Or did the boys just retake their places at the top? Why do women need to continuously fight for their places in music?

 

Feminism is not dead, but the patriarchy wants it to be. The second wave feminists are still pushing ahead, but the ERA is still not ratified. The third wavers have taken the struggle online, but the social media spaces are crawling with misogynists waiting to pounce. Women are baited with articles about career women vs. stay at home moms, shifting our focus from feminist goals. We should be gathering together and fighting for our lives. There are too many attacks, in the United States (not to mention around the world), on our collective rights as women.

 

The powers that be, which often include other women, wish to take away our right to control our own bodies. They want to take away our agencies and our voices. They want to make us helpless and powerless as a group so they can continue to control us. The patriarchy will never quit fighting so neither should we. We have to push onward. Continue marching! Continue running for office and retaining feminist values while leading! Organizing as if our lives depend on it, because they do! And never believe the media when they say that feminism is dead. It is alive and kicking and we will continue in the riot grrrl path. Never compromise! Never concede! Never go back!

 

Peace and Happy Patriarchy Smashing!
Chantale

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Good vs. Evil aka Binaries and Why They Are Not Useful

Last week, the writer and I received a note in the mail. Inside the note was a printed sheet that listed sermon notes from a service attended by a family member. The sermon was purported to be about Gender, although I would argue that it was actually about Sex, as Gender is a social construct that is carried out by individuals according to how they feel, and, in this sense, is fluid. Gender is how one performs their masculinity, femininity, or neither, to the world.

Sex is connected to the sexual organs that one possesses and is not connected to the Gender representation that one performs. Sometimes the Sex and Gender match up, but more often than not they don’t. For more on cis, trans, sex, sexuality, and other fun gender studies terminology, please refer here: Why I Am A Feminist.

Now that I have reiterated the differences between Sex and Gender, let me return to the sermon and it’s notes. The beginning of the notes had the usual biblical information. God made this and God made that. Yadda yadda yadda. God made a woman and God showed Adam he needed her. And so on. Then we get to a section about the different Evangelical views on gender (sex) roles.

Egalitarian view: God made men & women equal – and they have the same roles regardless of gender.
I like this one and, honestly, I am extremely surprised to see this on the list. I was under the impression that Evangelicals did not believe this. The next one is more in line with what they actually believe, so here goes…

Complimentarian view: God made men & women equal – but they have different roles based upon gender.
This is the view that this particular preacher states the bible teaches and he is correct. The bible does teach this. It teaches that women are the property of men and that patriarchy is the only way to live. It teaches that slavery is the norm and that we should never eat shellfish or cut our hair. It teaches many things that do not have bearing on the world today.

It also teaches really awesome and good things, but, sadly, the Evangelicals never seem to get around to that stuff.

After all the introductory information is presented, the real important (and scary) part is this:
There is a call to battle at the end, the gist of which is that anyone who does not believe women are subordinate to men is an enemy. Enemies seek to distort the Bible. So, I suppose this means that if I want to work and drive a car, I am an enemy. Since I studied Sociology and received not 1, but 2 (!) bachelor’s degrees, I am an enemy. Since I have a vagina, but I choose not to use it in the service of procreation, I am an enemy. Since I am pursuing a Masters degree and working a full time job, rather than staying home and raising children, I am an enemy.

You know what? I will settle for that then. I will settle for being an enemy. If that is what they are going to see me as, there is really no way to fight it. They will always and forever see me, and anyone that agrees with me about civil rights, as an enemy. I was not preparing for battle prior to receiving these sermon notes, but perhaps I should be. In the end, though, I prefer to just be me and let everyone else be everyone else. I prefer to love each other, just as the person that they worship told his people to do. I don’t need to go to church on Sundays and pray to a deity in order to be a good person. Nor do I need the threat of hell fire to make me act civil to other humans. Organized religion ruins spirituality in very deep and profound ways.

I have seen supposed Christians standing outside of clinics, screaming at women. Is this what Jesus wanted?
I have witnessed supposed Christians standing on soapboxes screaming at passersby to convert or burn in hell.
Is this what Jesus wanted?
I have noticed supposed Christians who talk ill of one another during the coffee hour, after the sermon.
Is this what Jesus wanted?
I have heard supposed Christians be passive aggressive in their dealings with other people.
Is this what Jesus wanted?
I have been in the presence of supposed Christians screaming at gay and lesbian folks for the way they were born.
Is this what Jesus wanted?
I have received tracts from supposed Christians who say they want me to be saved, but only on their terms.
Is this what Jesus wanted?

No! Jesus wanted us to love one another. Jesus wanted us to be good people. Jesus would probably tell these supposed Christians to chill out.

Life is not about binaries, but fluidity. When we think about a situation, we should have the ability to open our minds to ALL the possibilities, not just those that have been imposed upon us. Imposition results from all different areas of life, but no other place is it more prevalent than in the modern day Fundamentalist movement. The bible is held to be truth beyond a doubt and questions are looked upon as evil. You either believe or you do not believe, and this is dangerous as it leaves no room for the bulk of humanity.

We are all individuals, moving through space and time in different ways and at different speeds of living. We do not all see life from the same perspective and, therefore, should not feel beholden to any book or opinion of a man on a pulpit. We each create and recreate our lives based on what we encounter from day to day. Belief evolves over time, just as everything else evolves. Change is constant and we need to move with it. Having the ability to shift gears and understand your reality without relying on the dogma that has been inflicted upon you over time is important. Without this ability new situations can be daunting and, at times, even overwhelming.

In the end, you can, and should, live for yourself.

Whether you believe in something or you believe in nothing, the one thing we should all believe in is each other. We should be open and accepting. We should not just tolerate, but embrace difference. We should live our lives in the best way we can and in the end it will all work out. If not, who wants to spend eternity with a deity that punishes humans for their very nature? Not me. Would you?

Peace,
Chantale aka hippiegrrl

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What’s Wrong With Indiana?

This past week, in the State of Indiana, a new bill was introduced for consideration to again attempt to install the requirement of a transvaginal probe for women that are persuing an abortion. This is a travesty, considering it is an additional hurdle that needs to be overcome just to exercise the right to choose. Bigger than this, however, is this far reaching request; the State is seeking to institute this bill for women seeking RU486 as well. This drug, which is taken within the first week of a potential pregnancy, and most often as an emergency contraceptive after a sexual attack or mishap with contraception, prevents the woman from having to continue a pregnancy that is wholly unwanted. It assists the woman in not having to make this decision later in a potential pregnancy. Basically, it is a way to counteract an act of violence.

Counteracting an act of violence, in and of itself, is reason enough to not inflict more violence on the woman, via an invasive and unnecessary procedure. A farther reaching issue with this bill is the fact that it would require clinics that administer RU486 to change the structure of their facilities to accommodate these tests. If they cannot comply they must stop dispensing the drug, taking away a fundamental right of the women of Indiana. The right to medical care. The right to live autonomous lives. The right to control their bodies. The right to choose.

Turning back the clock on reproductive rights is not the right direction for our country to take and each time one of these unrealistic bills comes to the forefront, it proves that women’s bodies are still a battleground, even 40 years after Roe v. Wade. Hopefully, this ridiculous bill will not pass in Indiana, but we should be mindful of this and other bills like it and the ways in which lawmaker seek to continuously erode our rights.

One woman, one body, one right, one choice.

Yet another example of why we need the E.R.A. We need to enshrine reproductive rights in our constitution and give women the protection we need to make our own decisions, once and for all.

Peace and keep up the fight!
Chantale

Links:
Indiana May Require Women To Have Two Transvaginal Probe Ultrasounds
How Republicans Quietly Mandate Transvaginal Probes When They Think No One’s Paying Attention
NARAL Pro Choice America
roe v. wade, 30 years later

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Why I Am A Feminist

I am a feminist because I believe that people of all genders are equal. All human beings, no matter what gender, race, ethnicity, sexual orientation, or creed, are equal. We all live on the earth and we are all homosapiens. We also all have to perform basic bodily functions, such as eating, sleeping, hydrating, and eliminating waste, on a daily basis. We all need food, clothing, and shelter to survive and we all need the interaction of other human beings in order to thrive. These are basic facts. They are not beliefs and they do not need faith in order to understand them. Human beings of all shapes, sizes, intelligence, and talent are equal. Our actions show us to be leaders or followers, innovators or users, but at the base levels we are all equal.

There is a book that exists that has many stories in it. Many people read this book and make decisions for their lives based on these stories. This is good in practice, for personal growth and development, but when this book is used to tell other people how to live their lives, this is where a line should be drawn. Inequality exists for many reasons, but the main reason, the first reason, is the ways in which this book tells stories concerning roles of the sexes. This book depicts a world where men are in charge and women are merely property. It pushes the ideals of patriarchy which have been detrimental to our collective consciousness. This is why we must set the book aside and enact laws from a state of equality. Pass amendments to insure that all human beings are treated equally under the law and follow through in maintaining these amendments. Women were not made fully equal by the voting rights that were won by those that came before us and fought with all their might to obtain, but by a constant daily struggle toward equality. This also includes the rights of non-cis people who are or will become trans gendered.

Time for a quick gender studies (yay sociology!) lesson: cis is a term used in gender studies to denote those individuals that have sex organs matching their gender orientation. Let me go back another step. The sex of an individual is determined by ones sex organs, the gender is the way they perform their orientation. Even easier, sex equals male/female/intersex, gender equals masculine/feminine/asexual. Sex is related to biology while gender is related to performance.

Example – I have female sex organs, I feel like a woman, I dress the way I want so sometimes I may be performing what society would deem masculinity, but overall my clothing is feminine. This makes me a cis female, meaning my sex organs match my personal identity. If I had female sex organs, but I felt like I should have male sex organs, that would make me trans, but not lesbian. I am only lesbian if I am also attracted to women. If I then go forth and have an operation to become a man, I would be a trans gay man. This makes sense in that they call the surgery reassignment surgery. This means that they are reassigning the sex organs from female to male or vice versa. This does not change the sexual attraction that an individual will feel. This is why we can definitively state that sex organs do not link to attraction. They do not link to gender. They only link to sex assignment and reproduction.

So now that you know what cis and trans mean, let me continue to explain why I am a feminist and will continue to be one throughout my life.

There are young women that feel like feminism is no longer necessary. We can vote and work and now we can fight in wars, so why do we need to keep fighting for equality? Well, it is simple really, complacency. If we put down the struggle and just live our lives, we will find ourselves back in the past quicker than we can blink. Once we settle we sign our inequality warrant. If we do not continue to look at sexism in popular culture, and critique it in order to end it, it will get more out of control than it already is.

This is where I live, feminist-wise. In the land of feminist critical studies. Watching movies and television shows and commercials, reading the latest literature, and then using my pen (or computer keyboard, I suppose) to fight the good fight against misogyny and institutionalized sexism. This may make me a pain to some or a thorn in the side of organized religion, but it is what I must do. Ministers speak of a calling that they have to do gods work, well this is my calling. I am called to right the wrongs of years of oppression by a system that makes us feel like everything will be okay if we just sit down, cross our legs, and shut our mouths. Well, I never cross my legs and I will definitely never shut my mouth. The struggle is long and difficult, but we can muddle through.

Thanks for reading this and please keep coming back. Without you, I have no voice. If you are interested in reading more about cis, trans, gender performance, feminism, and other good stuff, please click on the links below and sign up for some feeds. Information is the best defense against inequality!

Peace,
Chantale

appropriate links:

gender binary primer
who needs feminism? – yeah, that would be everyone
feminist majority foundation – the ms. foundation on the web
feminism in the 21st century – a little piece I wrote in 2003
Judith Butler on Gender Perfomativity – the mother of gender performance discourse
feministing.com – one of my favourite feminist places on the interwebs
sociological images – discourse and visuals
why i’m adding feminist to my online profiles