A question has been forming in my head over the last few weeks. It was made crystal clear when discussed on a weekend car trip with my hubby.
Is it possible for someone to be so totally ingrossed in the born again christian/organized religion dogma that they would deny their own sexuality? Would they just not notice (being such “good” christians) or would they closet themselves for all of eternity? Would they get married and have four or five kids to try to change? Maybe immerse themselves further into the christian life in order to not have to face up to the truth?
This is an interesting concept. Why would one pretend to be something different just to make the church people happy? Jesus would not require them to live a lie. Jesus would welcome them with open arms as his sisters and brothers. Jesus would probably be kicked out of the modern organized church for being a hippie freak. Modern day born again christianity is not about love, peace and joy as it should be, but more about repentance, keeping yourself away from the brimstone and being sure to join the click at your local “non-denominational” church (note: non-denominational is code for born-again, not for all welcoming).
Yes, i sound bitter. No, i am not a big fan of organized religion. I feel that religion is faith and faith is personal. Going to church every sunday doesn’t make you a better person unless you carry out a jesus-like attitude toward those in the outside world. Telling others of your beliefs is one thing, but respecting the beliefs of those who are different is a whole other situation.
Getting back to the original question – is it possible to be so wrapped up in the church and the rules that are shoved down ones throat to be oblivious to ones own sexual orientation? If so, this is very unhealthy. Why do some priests become molesters? Oppression. Why do some married men get arrested for elicit meetings in public restrooms with other men? Oppression. America is supposed to be the land of the free, but our basis in puritanism has so oppressed the people of this land that some individuals stray from sensible acts. If the church was more welcoming and open to all people this oppression might end.
This is why i don’t really enjoy organized religion. At this stage it has strayed so far from the ideals of jesus and into this arena of total domination and oppression over individuals and their lifestyles that it has made a whole generation of men and women afraid to come out. Afraid to be themselves. These men and women choose to marry and have children or stay single for the rest of their lives. Both are oppressive and sad states of being.
That conclusion isn’t really satisfying, is it? This is how it is and there isn’t anything one can do about it. Well – that isn’t the end of the story. There is a wonderful christian denomination called unitarian that opens it’s doors to all people. It is a truly non-denominational church model that seems to be working well. Unitarians believe that the bible is a living text that can be interpreted in many ways. Over time things change and “jesus is still speaking” to us through the text in new and different ways. The main tenant of all christianity should be “love everyone” and the unitarians seem to grasp this concept better than anyone else. This doesn’t necessarily mean that I’ve returned to the church full force, but the idea of unitarianism gives me hope that eventually christianity will return to it’s roots – love, peace, joy and jesus.
Peace, Hippiegrrl
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